Writer's block ? How I wish it were the reason....

It is mid-March ie. 2.5 months since 2010 opened up for us & all I have done is like 6 blog-posts, which averages to about a post every fortnight. Not at all good. I think of writing every day and really want to, but somehow it does not happen.

If I were a writer of repute, I could blame it on writer's block, but I don't have that alibi. Like always, I make notes of what to post and even take snaps wherever necessary, but somehow they do not seem to be getting translated into posts.

I tried to blame it on work, but hey since I seem to have all the time in the world to Facebook friends, I should be able to make time for my blog too. I tried blaming it on family taking up most of my time - my wife and kid are at Chennai for 2 weeks - but to be fair to them, they do give me hours of free time.

So, what is it that prevents me from blogging ? How I wish it were writer's block. :-)

So you have a Merc parked in the driveway. Big deal.

I had gone into town to finish off some work that was pending at the bank for a long time. After finishing my stuff, I remember that my Dad had wanted to buy a couple of cane-baskets (for working in the yard) and decided to drive down a few kms to the place where they weave these baskets.

The road meanders in curves with rubber-trees on the sides and the terrain switches from the plains to mildly hilly. I am driving enjoying the scenic beauty, when I come across this strange sight. In the driveway of a nice new house, towers the boom of a crane (called JCB in local lingo - the name coming from the manufacturer).


Ha, that was too good a sight to just drive by. So, I stop and take snaps. Instead of having cars parked in the driveway, this guy had a huuuuge crane parked.




Nice ride, but wonder how much trouble it would be to park the thing inside, ensuring that the boom of the crane does not damage any part of the home.

The recession is behind us ?

Just like an impending recession is signalled by salary-freezes (or worse pay-cuts),
pink-slips and ofcourse hiring-stops, there are also certain signals that indicate that
the recession is receding.

The first of these is what I call the "Dear All" signal. In its very common form, this is a
company-wide (or BusinessUnit-wide) email sent out by an employee who is quitting
the company. Usual format is "Dear All, it has been fun working here with y'all, but for the sake
of career advancement, bla bla..., I am heading out. You can contact me at iAmOutOfHere@yahoo.com".

When you see a quick succession of such emails, it is an indication that companies have
started hiring again, which points to the recession slowly fading away.

But the best signal of a fading recession is when the salary-hikes get really generous.
This is partly done so as to counter the trend of people leaving for better pastures.
Last week (Tuesday) was when the hikes were announced in our organisation. I was
working from home when my manager called up to inform about the hike and boy, it
was a pleasant surprise.

The salary hikes were in the 20% - 40% range across the organisation, atleast to my
knowledge. Possible that it even went upto 50%. I can't mention here by what %age
my salary increased, since some of my colleagues visit this blog and it ain't considered
a nice practice to compare salaries or the hike %age. Let's just say, I was reaaaalllllly
happy. :-)

I called my wife to tell her about the hikes and she had just 2 things to say :

1) I fail to understand why you guys are rewarded so handsomely, especially guys like
you who are not even at work (refering to my recent workFromHome stints).

2) How about getting that Rosewood dining-table + chair set home ?

So, looks like the recession is behind us. Not bad. Not bad at all.

P.S. : We got the dining table & chairs home last Saturday. A damage of 45K, but that
is OK because we finally managed to find the exact one we wanted, after a long search
of more than 6 months.

When the tuk-tuk went hitech.

I am driving to work and surfing the many FM radio-channels skipping the ones that are
playing advertisements or have bland-idiotic talk-shows on them. Infact most of the talk
shows on FM are dumb - God, how I miss Suchi & the "Hello Chennai" morning program
which she used to host on Radio Mirchi long time ago.

I stop at a channel where an auto-driver is being interviewed by the Radio Jockey (RJ).
Now, for anyone who has spent only a few days in Chennai, one of the most hated facets
of this city are the auto-drivers. I am here for 2 decades and still can't stand them & avoid contact with them to the maximum extent possible by using personal transportation or by taking the bus or even a taxi.

They are hated mainly because they charge atrocious rates which usually would be 2-3
times what is mandated by law. Also hated for unruly driving, loud illegal exhaust notes,
for being rude/uncouth etc etc. - the list is long. Given all this, I wonder what is the point
of having an auto-driver on a talk-show ?

Anyway, looks like this is no ordinary auto-driver and neither is his tuk-tuk (term used
for auto-rickshaws in other countries) just another auto ? In the brick 'n mortar world,
he can be usually seen in front of the Taj Coromandel Hotel in Chennai, waiting for patrons.

But what separates him from other auto-drivers is that he is available online too. Yep, he
has a website of his own (http://www.tuktastic.com/), which is kinda interesting, with tidbits about Chennai, its touristy spots, watering holes, shopping centres, customer-testimonials etc.

And it also gives you the option to email him or call him on his mobile phone to reserve the service of his tuk-tuk when you are next coming to Chennai. He says he checks email once
a week, which is good because if he were to follow our example of checking emails every
other minute, he would not be able to get any work done. No wonder the only thing that
gets done at most offices is checking emails.

Anyway, here is a snapshot of his home-page.


Nice effort, Samson dude. Now how about using that ornamental-appliance (fare-meter)
fitted on your auto, which I am yet to see any auto-driver in Chennai use ? I guess your
customers would appreciate that much more than you putting up a website.

P.S. : In the Customer testimonials section, a customer "Sarah' says that this guy is great
and is "worth his weight in rupees". Which though is not saying much because what would
Rs.80 get you today ? "Worth in dollars/pounds" would have been something though.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or does it actually ?

I landed at the Chennai Central station today morning after 9 long days at Kerala, which included 2 weekends, a holiday (Jan-26) and 4 days of working from home. I am glad I
work for a company that is flexible in its approach to how employees put in work. This
helped me be with my son when he joined play-school and drop him & pick up from school
all of last week.

Anyway, 9 days is a long duration - close to 1/3rd of a month. Long enough to notice even
subtle changes in the immediate environment. The moment I got off the train, the first thing that hit me was the noise - of a thousand people talking, the P.A. system blaring etc.

Come out of the station and get into an auto-rickshaw only to be subjected to more noise - illegally tuned exhausts of auto-rickshaws, bikers revving their engines for no valid reason, almost everyone riding/driving with their finger on the horn, etc etc.

I know that by evening or latest by tomorrow, I would be immune to this racket. But since
I am returning after spending 9 days in a small town in Kerala, where the all-pervasive
silence is only occasionally broken by a bus zipping through, the city's noise levels seem unbearable.

My thoughts immediately go to what my friend from the U.S. mentioned 3 weeks ago
when he was in Chennai for a 15-day visit to meet his friends/family. His comment
was, "Hey, Chennai has become so noisy compared to how it was last time. And almost
everyone seems to own a small car, but they drive it like they ride bikes, squeezing into
spaces that don't even seem to exist".

Ofcourse, he was returning after 4 long years during which time, the city's automobile
population would have increased significantly.

I might be getting old or maybe my noise-tolerance is lessening, but somehow I am not
liking what I am hearing. I have been to and spent enough time at all the major Indian
cities, and the only city I would stay in would be Chennai. But over the years, the pollution,
the noise, the traffic, the unruly driving on roads etc is getting to me. I guess I should talk
to my manager about working permanently from home, dropping in only occasionally at
Chennai for any meeting that requires my physical presence.

P.S. : Been a long time since my last post. After a few hectic months at work, it was
relatively lean in January, but somehow I could not put out a post. Laziness....

Finding wit even among spam

Any cellphone user (atleast in India) would know how it feels to get tonnes of junk SMSes
in your Inbox. Even if you don't spend time reading them, time is required to clear them
from your phone.

But then, there are those rare moments when some of these contain humour (ofcourse unintentional) which makes you smile. Like this SMS I received from JoyAlukkas (the
jewellery store chain) just before 2009 ended, which I have quoted verbatim below :

"joy of new tear. Buy jewellery from joyalukkas & get free 22ct gold coin, pendant,
earrings & chain."

Ofcourse, they meant 'year', but just that it went out as 'tear' to thousands of cellphones.
To give credit to them, they did send out another SMS a day or two later with the typo
corrected.

And as if to prove that gaffes like this are not the sole preserve of cellphones, today I got
an email from Outlook magazine, reminding me that "only 10 days left to renew my
subscription". Ofcourse, their previous deadline of "only 10 days left ..." got over only
yesterday.

The email lists out the offer details, free gifts that come with the 1/3/5 year subscriptions
etc and is signed "Himanshu Pandey, Head: Business Development". The only problem is
that instead of addressing the email to me, it is addressed to "Dear Himanshu Pandey".

Looks like the Outlook Business Dev. Head forgot to renew his own subscription. :-)

What can be worse than your baggage not reaching with you ?

Many air-travellers would have gone through the ordeal of reaching their destination,
only to learn that their checked-in baggage has either not reached or worse, gone to
some other destination. I always worry about this when I travel, but luckily I never
had this happen to me.

But as my colleague learnt a few days ago, things could be much worse. He had returned
to Chennai after a 1-month stint in the U.S., only to be told that his baggage hasn't turned
up in the same flight. They told him that he would be intimated as soon as it arrives.

A week later, he is asked to collect the baggage from the airport. Relieved that the ordeal
is finally over, he goes to collect the luggage. He notices that the locks are broken & a new
laptop that was in it is missing. He had bought the laptop for a friend & made the mistake
of packing it in the check-in baggage.

Since he is a seasoned traveller, I was surprised that he chose to put expensive stuff in
check-in baggage. I always pack fragile and expensive stuff in my hand-baggage, since
check-in baggage not only goes through rough handling, but there always is the risk of
pilferage. Hope this helps anyone reading this avoid such (costly) mistakes.

It's a little bit the violin, but lots more who plays it.

I have no idea which clever soul coined the saying that is the title of this post, but it has
been a favourite of mine for many years. Every time I went fishing with my Shimano
fishing-gear and returned without catching even a single fish, I would be reminded of
this saying because I would see other fishers reeling in catch by the minute with just a
home-made fishing rod.

And day-before-yesterday's incident sort of proved the whole theory right. Being X'mas vacation, my sisters had come down with their family and my niece Divya had been after
me to take her fishing. The Shimano was not an option, since the rod had broken some
months ago and I did not get a replacement.

So, I fashioned out a fishing rod/reel using a bamboo rod, a piece of straw (for the float).
I ofcourse have the hook and string stocked at home. And off we go fishing. My plan was
to go to our plot of land near the river, where we had just recently reclaimed some of the
land that we had lost to the river over the years. This strip of reclaimed land was a good
option to fish from. But to our disappointment, the water is covered with hyacinth and
thus not a good place to fish because the hook would get entangled.

We move to the neighbouring plot which belongs to my Mom's cousin. He has built a series
of concrete steps leading down to the water & cleared a small patch of land where one could
sit and fish or read a book, watching the river flow by silently with the occasional fishing
canoe pass by.

We start fishing and Divya is all excited, but while the fishes cleverly eat the bait without
getting caught, she learns an important lesson in fishing - patience. And then I reel in our
first fish - nothing very big, but not that small either.

Divya fishing on the banks of the Achankoil river :


Now she is excited and wants to try her hand at it. I hand over the fishing rod to her and
take over the job of putting bait on the hook and throwing the line for her. In 15 minutes,
she reels in 3 fishes. Her joy knows no bounds - it is her first attempt at fishing & she has
already caught 3 fishes.

We would have loved to spend more time fishing, but it was getting late and we needed
to get back home. Since I have never returned from fishing with any fish, people at home
are not expecting this time to be any different. So they are surprised to see us return
with 4 fishes. The four fishes we caught - all of the same kind, known locally as "Paral".


The bigger of the 4 fishes.

As usual, my wife has the last word as she says tongue-in-cheek, "Given that Divya was

able to catch fishes so easily with a home-made fishing-rod, should you not have jumped

into the river out of shame?" Referring to the fact that I could not manage even a single

fish with the fancy Shimano.

Well, it sure is a little bit the fishing gear, but lots more who wields it. And ofcourse throw

in lots of luck.

What better gift than a nice read ? Especially one that you can't put down.

It was our wedding anniversary last week & my wife had a gift for me -a copy of Chetan
Bhagat's latest novel "2 States". It was a surprise. Not the gift, but the fact that not only
did she tolerate me (and my occasional eccentricities) all these years, but also felt like
getting a gift for me. :-)

This is Chetan's 4th book and the other 3 books are already part of my collection. Apart
from liking the way he writes, I like the way he prices his books. All his books are priced
at Rs.95 (2$) which is not only affordable to most people who form his readership, but by keeping the figure just below 3-digits, it kind of makes you think that it is not too much
money, as opposed to if the price was say Rs.100. You know, like how Bata prices their
footwear - Rs.199 instead of Rs200.

My wife tells me that she read somewhere that the pricing is his wife's idea - as if to rub
in the "behind every successful man, there is a woman" theory. :-) I don't really doubt
that because Chetan's wife is also an IIM product (IIM-A at that) and you don't just get
into an IIM without more-than-average grey matter.

I absolutely loved his first book "5 point someone" which is about his IIT experiences &
which is being made into a Hindi movie "3 Idiots". His second one, "1 night @ the call
centre" was good, but not as much as the first one. The 3rd book was "The 3 mistakes of
my life", which was about the Gujarat riots and in my opinion ranking last in his books.

The latest one "2 States" is actually a piece of fiction which is based on his life. Actually
based on his marriage - a Punjabi guy marrying a Tamil Iyengar girl. Can you imagine a
more explosive combination ? While we can talk all day about unity in diversity and all
that, in reality we are all different people and think of the other one as aliens.

Northies have their own beliefs about Southies, and vice versa. Even among Southies,
people belonging to each of the 4 Southern states have their own 'opinion' about those
from other states. Heck even in a state, people from various regions have their own
prejudices about those from other regions.

An apt example is the South/North divide in Kerala. The Northies (those from Kannur, Kozhikode, etc) have a saying "Thekkane-yum Moorkkane-yum kandaal, thekkane
aadyam kollanam", which translates into "If you come across a South-Keralite and a
Cobra, kill the Southie first". Meaning that a Southie is more harmful than a poisonous
Cobra. Hey, I am from South Kerala, though not sure if I am dangerous than a Cobra.

There is nothing really fancy about how Chetan writes. Actually the writing is simple &
that I guess is what endears him to readers. You feel he is telling a story and you are
listening. And in this book, he has effortlessly covered the general Delhi-Punjabi psyche,
their interests (eating, showing off & splurging) and has also adeptly captured the typical TamBram way of life (valuing education above everything else, equally at home with
technology & horoscopes, the coy-girl-at-home-but-wild-outside syndrome etc).

And if you leave apart his IIT and IIM exposure, most guys would be able to identify with
him on many counts. I for one could relate to so many incidents in just the first half of the
book (I could not finish it) that it felt like he has written my story.

There is the part about how he tries to win over the conservative TamBram parents of
his girlfriend, but does not seem to be succeeding. And finally he gets a chance to bond
with his future FIL, when the latter has to make a very important presentation at office
and seeks his help with PowerPoint. Over a period of few days, they get close enough
for FIL to offer him a drink from the Chivas Regal that a potential suitor (US educated TamBram guy working for Cisco - LOL) for his daughter had presented him.

And FIL proceeds to pour 4 tablespoons of whisky into a glass for himself & asks Chetan
how many spoons he needs. Ofcourse, the Punjabi he is, Chetan pours his drink from the
bottle sans spoon, which amazes FIL who says, "My wife does not let me drink more than
4 spoons a day". And as they work overnight on the presentation, they end up finishing
3/4th of the bottle.

My normal style of reading books is at-one-go - I don't need food or sleep or anything if
I have a good book in hand. But with work, time for my son/wife and other chores, this
style does not work anymore. So, I tried to read this book in bits - while having a smoke
in the yard, in the loo etc. But I still could manage to complete only 1/2 the book over the
last weekend.

I had to return to Chennai & could have used the time on the train to finish it. But I saw
that my wife was also following the book when she got some spare time & thinking that
she would want it, I left it at Kerala. I can't wait to get back home this Saturday to read
the rest of this absolutely un-putdownable book.

If you like books (light fiction) and have not read Chetan Bhagat yet, I would highly
recommend "2 States"and after that I am sure you will find yourself buying his other
books.

P.S. : Inspite of being a fan of Chetan's writing and reading his books, I did not know (till
I read about it on a website yesterday) that there was a common thing about the titles
of all his books - they all have a number in them - 5, 1, 3 & 2.

When was your city last razed to the ground ?

While at Serbia, we one day invited Mirko (an engineer with our client) for lunch at an
Indian restaurant. After placing the order and while waiting for the food to be served,
we were making small talk, discussing about each other's countries.

At school, History was one of my favourite subjects. Mainly because I like to read and
history is all about interesting stories, and also because I like to write and what better
platform for waxing eloquent than a history examination ? :-)

There was no Serbia then (it was Yugoslavia) and President Tito was well known in India because of his being one of the founders of NAM (Non Aligned Movement) along with the
then Indian Prime Minister Nehru. Even today, most people to whom I mentioned that I
had been to Serbia, confuse it with Siberia (Russia). But the moment you say Yugoslavia,
they know.

We had a barrage of questions for Mirko, who cheerfully helped clear our doubts. He had
just one question for us though : "When was your city last razed to the ground ?"

We were like, Huh ?

I really don't know when Chennai was last razed to the ground. Infact I don't think it was
razed in recent times - atleast in the last 60 years or more. When we told him that such
a thing has not happened (fortunately) to our city in a long time, he was kind of surprised.

And as usual Google helped me clarify why Mirko had that doubt. As per Wikipedia, "the
city of Belgrade was battled over in 115 wars & razed to the ground 44 times since the
ancient period by countless armies of the East and West." No wonder Mirko felt it odd
and maybe even boring that no one razed Chennai to the ground.

Most days after work, the 3 of us would get together in my room and talk shop and to
enjoy some nice Serbian wine/brandy. That day, the topic was Mirko's 'strange' query
& I told my colleagues about how Belgrade has been razed to the ground some 44 times.

One of my colleagues promptly said that he knows the reason why all these armies
over-ran Belgrade so many times. Since the said colleague was not known to really
be a history-buff, I was curious how he knew why this city was the target of so many
armies and ask him the reason.

As per him it was pretty elementary and he was surprised that we did not know the
reason. On prompting, he says, "You guys are dumb. Given the beautiful women
here, is it surprising that this country was fought over in 115 wars or was razed to
the ground 44 times? All those armies came for the women, dude."

Can't argue with that logic, can ya ?

A year on - the victims cry, while the perpetrator has fun.

When something earth-shattering happens, we remember where we were and what we
were doing that day. When Rajiv Gandhi was assasinated in 1991, I was at Ranipet doing
in-plant training at the facility of BHEL. When his Mom, Indira Gandhi was assasinated
by her own body-guards, I was at Kerala and the moment the car announcing the news
passed by, my Mom's favourite doll fell from the showcase and shattered into pieces.

When 9/11 happened, I was driving from work to the gym, listening to the car-radio and
when they mentioned about planes hitting the WTC, I was like "this is some spoof" and I
ignored the news only to get home and have my wife tell me that it was indeed real.

When 26/11 happened, I was again at Kerala & it was on prime-time television, like some
soap. Just that it was real and real people were losing their lives. For 2-3 days, those few
***holes held my country at ransom as we all were left to watch T.V., while they shed the
blood of innocent people.

After the whole drama ended, what remained was a series of images - of dead people/cops,
of injured people, a traumatised nation that could not believe that a few guys could come
over via the sea and wreak havoc in our country. But to me, what endured was the image
of Moshe, the Israeli kid who lost his parents in that bloodshed in Bombay (I hate the new
name of Mumbai, just like I hate the new name of Chennai).

Moshe was bawling, like any kid in his situation. He had lost his parents, though at his very
tender age, he would not know what life and death meant. I did a blog post on him then and
was reminded of him a few days ago when the newspapers started profiling the first Anniv.
of the carnage. He reminded me of my own son - not that they are facially similar, just that
I worried how my son would cope without me. In the crying Moshe, I saw my son.

Last Sunday, the New Indian Express had their supplement devoted to 26/11 and one of
the articles was about Moshe. He used to cry out in his sleep for his parents. Today he still
kisses the photos of his parents and asks his grandparents where they are. A kid of just two
years, he remembers. And cries...

On the other hand, we have the perpetrator - Kasab. A kid, if you go by his age, but someone
who killed many. He is the lone survivor of the gang that hit Bombay. We all saw him on TV,
spraying bullets all around. Is there any more evidence needed ? But no, we can't be seen as
a country that does not give a fair trial. So, for the past 1 year, we have had him making the
rounds of the court, grinning at times, asking for Biriyani etc.

Can you imagine what his situation would have been if he had been in Pakistan ? Gallows.
And if he had done this crime in the US ? He would be in Guantanomo Bay, subject to the
torture exercise called water-boarding. But in India, he is having fun. Asking for biriyani,
making faces at the media etc.

The kin of his victims want him dead. No trial, no nothing - just the gallows. But would that
be enough punishment for someone who left a kid an orphan or snatched the parents of
many families ? No, that would be an easy death - not enough punishment for the havoc
he created.

What would be the best punishment for him that would make him regret what he did ?
Imprisonment at Tihar jail in the company of dreaded criminals who would make day &
(more importantly night) difficult for him. That would be fair. Hope someone up there in
the soft state called India understands this and takes appropriate action.

It was already a small world. The internet shrunk it even more.

Every now and then I check out the sitemeter statistics of my blog, just to know who is
visiting my blog, from which country and how do they land up here. Is it while searching
for something else or direct to read my posts ?

Today the total visitor count showed 4500, a nice round figure and I went through the
stats. My normal daily hit-rate is like 7-8 visitors, which I know is miniscule compared
to the hits many blogs get. But when I saw that in just the early hours of today, there
were like 10 visitors, I became curious. There had to be some reason for this activity.

I checked details of some of the visits & found that one of the visitors had been referred
by http://www.ambassador-serbia.com/2009/11/24/the-beauty-of-serbian-women/ Wondering why this site would refer my blog, I go there and see that they have featured
my email about "more beauty per square metre".

This is the first time I have come across a website featuring my post and have to admit
that it felt good. To quote from the feature, "Last month, we wrote about an Indian
guy who spent a week working in Serbia saying that Serbian women are the most
beautiful on earth. Back in India, he’s still amazed with the beauty of Serbian women
& goes on to write another blog post about Serbian women. In fact, it’s an email that
he has sent to his colleagues a few days after landing at Belgrade. The email is so good
that I ended up including the whole thing, because it’s too good not to read — but check
out Indiandream’s site directly"

Since they would be moving to another feature (about Serbia) soon, I thought it would be
nice to have a snapshot of the blog as it looks now - below.

Apparently, this blog is about anything Serbian & the idea of this blog is to promote Serbia

and dispel any negative myths about the country. Nice effort and a well-designed site too.

And guess what, these guys do a good research on their posts too. They dug up the "I am"
poem from my archives which is like 4 years old and where I had mentioned that Keralite women are the most beautiful on earth. In the context of my "Serbian women post", it
would look like after visiting Serbia, my impression about Keralite women has changed. :-)

So, to clarify :
It is not like I changed my mind after seeing Serbian women. The crux of my post on Serbian women was about abundance of beauty ie. the ratio of beautiful women to
total women in Serbia was high. This is what puzzled me enough to write that post.

In India (all the states) and other countries also, there are amazingly beautiful women.
But what IMHO differentiated Serbia from these countries is that the %age of beautiful
women in the population is more in Serbia.

So, yeah, there are beautiful women in India, Japan, US, Belgium etc, but the ratio of
beautiful women to total female population is more in Serbia. Hope this clears things.

It sure is a small world. I post something - google spreads the word - someone from
faraway Serbia picks it up - I find out that they have picked it up - and post about it
here. Amazing, to say the least.

Something you did not know about Belgrade - more beauty per square metre.

This was the email I referred in the preceding post and which was posted on tbhp,
only to be snipped and consigned to the dustbin in etherspace. :-)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sub : Something you did not know about Belgrade - more beauty per square metre.
Sent : 12 October 2009 17:16PM
To : The_Office_Gang

It is not even a week since I landed at Belgrade, but it did not take me more than an hour
on the streets of Belgrade to realise that there is something very special about this place.
On the first day, I am walking to work & 99.9% women seen on the street are hot facially,
have great eyes, nice complexion & a figure that would give any movie actress (Bollywood, Hollywood whatever) a complex.

Even middle-aged women have an hour-glass figure. By looking at a woman from behind,
you would not be able to tell if she is 20 years old or 50. Initially I thought it must be just
a coincidence. But when each and every woman/girl on the street looks like a model and
the paved streets resemble a catwalk, the coincidence-theory flies out of the window.

When you add to this the fact that the "national dress" of Serbian-women is sleeve-less,
low-neck T-shirt and jean/mini-skirt, it becomes tough to negotiate your way on the
streets without banging into some pillar or the other. Actually T-shirt is a misnomer. It is
more like a man's vest (banian), just that it is colorful and is loooooow neck. After a week
here, cleavage has lost any charm that it had.

One of the first things (actually the 1st thing) my colleague who reached here a week
ahead of me, told me when I reached Belgrade was "Man, the girls here are hot".
Having seen some hot women in Belgium/Holland/France, I dismissed it off as being
because it is his first visit to Europe. Only to realise that I was so wrong.

The second thing he said (with quite a tinge of sadness) was "They do not even give
you a look." That was also so true. You pass by all these attractive women and not
even one even acknowledges your existence. Being the curious type, I decided to get
to the root of this. After all, how is it possible that all the women of a country can be
so attractive ?

A google search for "Serbian girls" led me to a few blogs, which confirmed that indeed
this was something any visitor to Serbia has experienced. Some attribute it to genetics,
some to the women taking great care in maintaining themselves etc. But what everyone
finally agrees on is that Serbia is one place on earth where you find more beauty per
square metre. I think Serbia should trademark this tagline.

And, it is not just men who have experienced this, there are blogs writtten by women
who felt severe inferiority complex on seeing the female beauty in Serbia. The blogs
also confirmed that the women here are aware that they are awesome and which is
the reason why they do not acknowledge stares from the drooling men. If at all you
think you would like to have a chance with these ladies, be prepared to have deep
pockets and a high-end car (a Merc S-class or a M-class should do).

Bottomline : If you are able to get to Serbia on work (like me), well and good. If not, beg/borrow/steal to have a vacation here. Only thing to remember is that you should
not bring your wife/gf - not a good idea.

P.S. : Another great thing about this place is the awesome range of cars on the streets.
I am yet to come across a country that has battered Yugos/Ladas to S-classes. Even
our Maruti-800 is here, so is the Santro, Getz, Optra etc etc. But then I am sure none
of you would be coming over here to checkout cars. :-)

BTW, a dollar gets you 62 Dinars, which makes it I guess a great destination for those
from the US. Another reason for you to come down. :-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And these were some of the snaps I posted on the forum. I am aware that these snaps
might not be that great to back up my claim of Serbian women being the most pretty
on earth. But then, clicking humans is not as easy as clicking cars - the cars don't mind
their pictures being taken. So, these are just random shots that we could take.

1) A mother of two kids - yet so svelte.


2. Exudes attitude with an 'A'. I am not hazarding a guess as to her age.


3. Two kids - late teens maybe.


4. This lady would be in her late thirties or early forties, but she had an amazing poise.
Pity the snap does not do justice to her looks.


5. Two girls at the campus of Belgrade University.

6. This is a professional model. But unlike other places where models stand apart from

normal women in looks/figure, in Serbia she is just one of the many women like her.


7. A very pretty girl at a coffee-shop.


8. Catwalk on the streets.


9. See the long black tresses on this girl.


And that's all the snaps I had.

Where I am both the contributor and the moderator

I was talking to a colleague who bought a Chevy Spark recently. He was telling me how he
stumbled across team-bhp during his car search and that the forum is a mine of information
on anything about cars and that he is addicted to the forum.

I could easily relate to it because that was exactly how I stumbled upon team-bhp in 2005
when I was searching for information on the Baleno. Me & wifey had finalised the WagonR
and that was then I did (just like that) a test-drive of the Baleno. After a 4km drive on the
TIDEL road, I was floored by the amazing pickup and driveability of the car.

And as if to prove a point, the sales-guy had me drive the car with the driver-side window
fully open and inspite of the typical noon-time Chennai summer heat, the a/c kept us all
cool. But then from 4lakhs, I was now increasing my budget to 6lakhs and I wanted to be
sure that I was not buying a car that would kill me in maintenance or fuel. So, started to
get info on the car - from owners and online.

This led me to team-bhp and it did not take me long to understand that this was a real
under-rated car, which not only was a deal at 6L, but also beat many costlier cars in
torque, quickness, 0-100 timings, fuel-efficiency etc. And guess what, the sales-guy had
a point - in a test conducted by a car-magazine to check the a/c effectiveness of cars in
India, the Baleno was the first. Beating even the Merc S-class, a car costing 75 lakhs or so.

Anyway, I told my colleague that I understand his addiction and that he will learn a lot
from the site and that the main reason for the site's quality is the effective moderation
done by the 10-12 moderators. They ensure that people stick to the topic of the thread,
do not indulge in personal attacks, spam, trolling etc and are the reason why this site is
one of the best in India.

But little did I realise that in just a few days of saying this, I would be at the receiving
end of the moderator's scissors. :-) As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am doing a
thread on the cars in Serbia and in passing I mentioned there about how the Serbian
women seemed to be the most beautiful in the world. Some guys wanted more info
on that and ofcourse photos to back my claim.

So 2 days ago, I posted there an email that I had sent to my colleagues a few days after
landing at Belgrade. Also posted some snaps that me & my colleagues had taken of the
women there. Knowing the rules of the forum, I was sure that there was nothing lewd
or objectionable in the email and the photos were also not smutty. But ofcourse one of
the moderators in his wisdom, felt that the post did not belong there and deleted the
post.

While I did think that there was nothing in the post to require deletion, I left it at that.
But, I felt that the post did not deserve to be in my email SentItems and needed a larger
audience. I wrote that email on 12th October and many-a-time I thought I should post
it here, but somehow did not. After the post got deleted, I decided that I need to put it
up here, where the only censoring that applies is self-censoring - my own.

Which I guess, is what makes blogs such a great medium. I am the contributor and I also
am the moderator. Just because the blog is mine, I can't print trash or defame someone.
But in my wisdom, if I think that a post is good to be in the public domain, it will figure
here. The next post will be about this facet of Serbia - it's women. Stay tuned.

When a lie-detector would have come in handy.

Have you ever found yourself mediating a dispute between two individuals ?

If both are honest, the mediating part is easy because you can easily make out who is
wrong and then it is just about making the wrong-doer understand his fault. But what
if both are lying about their role in the dispute ? It is plain tough as I learnt yesterday.

I first had the guy tell me how it was just not his fault that the whole fight happened
& that he was avoiding a fight until it was thrust in his face and he had to get physical.
Talking to him, I felt he had a point - sometimes women can be crappy.

Only till I talked to the girl. She was all tears and I could barely make out what she was
saying. Even in normal times, a girl's tears can make me (and most men) melt. So for a
few seconds, I was left speechless. She went on to say how she was avoiding a fight and
it was thrust in her face, till she could no longer avoid. And when she talked back, she
got hit by the guy.

Hey, wait. Wasn't that what the guy also said ? I was now seriously confused. More so
because I was talking to them over the phone & when you are not talking face-to-face,
it is all the more difficult to know if a person is lying or not. Not that it would have helped
if they were in front of me, because I am not really that good at catching liars by facial expressions, as I know from experience.

Anyway, as the girl was telling me her story, it was just 3 minutes to 7 PM (yesterday)
and time for my daily telecon. Ofcourse, I could not tell a weeping girl that I had to hang
up on her for some lousy call at work. So, I told her that a better judge would be my wife
and asked them both to call her - she knows them as well as I do.

As I return to work, I wonder how great it would have been to have a lie-detector, which
would have helped me solve this puzzle, where both seemed to be genuine. Though I am
sure that one of them has to be lying, because if both were so good as they claimed, the
fight would not have happened in the first place.

And yeah, the lie-detector would have come in handy for some other stuff too.

Mixing devotion and technology. How about a remix instead ?

In the beginning, man created the plain old landline with its usual tring-tring noise
& people were happy that they could communicate long distance without travelling.
No one cared about missed calls or tried to take a 2nd call when already on the line
with someone, like some people I know do.

Then cellphones came into the world with customisable music-only ring-tones. After
that mobile manufacturers let you actually set songs of your choice (music + lyrics)
as ring-tones, which mainly served the purpose of irritating everyone around you,
more than letting you know of an incoming call.

But man (or woman) is never satisfied and thus arose the need for ring-back tunes or
hello-tunes, which is what someone who calls your phone gets to hear. And hey, if it is
a song I like, I don't have any issues with the same. For eg. a friend, who occasionally
drops in at this blog has the lovely single "Every breath you take and every move you
make" from "Police" as his ring-back tune. So on the rare occassions that I call him, it
is a pleasure to listen to that lovely song.

But some hello-tunes can be plain irritating, especially if you have to go through it many
times a day. At work, there are 2 people whom I have to call atleast 4-5 times a day. One
of them is our lab engineer and he comes across as a very devotional guy - ash/vibhuti on
the forehead etc - and it is no surprise that his ring-back tone is a Hindu devotional hymn
which starts off as "Om namo...". But then it is his phone &his choice and anyway, I need
to call him only if there is something screwed up in the lab.

The other colleague is someone I have to call up more regularly because she is part of 2
projects I lead. Since the thin line between workdays and weekends has merged, I have
to endure her ring tone on weekends also. She also has set a devotional hymn (Sashti-e
nokka Saravana ...) as her ring-back tone.

Initially, it felt good to listen to it, but then over time it gets to you when you hear the
whole song 4-5 times a day. More so because sometimes she takes a long time to answer
calls and you have to go through the whole song.

Again its her phone and her choice of ring-back tune. But that song always reminds me
of a beautiful song (Padhinettu vayadhu, ila vatta manadhu, yengudhu pai poda) from
the Tamil movie Suriyan, which is set to the music of her hello-tune. Not only are the
lyrics / music awesome, but actress Roja enacted the dance sequence so senuously that
it remains a favourite of mine, even though that movie came out a decade or more ago.

I so wish my colleague would set this movie-song as her hello-tone and then I would
maybe even dial her phone just like that only to listen to that awesome song. Since that
is not going to happen, maybe I should set it as my ring-tone so that I get to hear it,
everytime someone calls me.

P.S. : I just viewed the Suriyan song on YouTube here. And man, Roja is just amazing.
The last 15 seconds of the video go to prove that size-zero is trash, when it comes to
feminine beauty.

Planetary beliefs in the info age.

After hitting the snooze button many times, I finally tear myself away from the comfort
of my bed at 7:30 AM today. I am ready by 8AM and as I drive out of the apartment
complex, my gaze falls on a svelte sari-clad figure walking on the left side of the road.

From the walk/gait/figure, I know that it is Sandy (not her real name), a resident
of our apartment complex. I know her from the time she was in the 11th Standard
- I had just completed my Engineering studies and we had moved recently into our
apartment after letting it out on rent for 4 years.

One of the two daughters of a Malayalee couple settled in Chennai, she was the exact
opposite of her younger sister. While both sisters were pretty, the younger one (let's
call her Shalu) was generally considered by guys in the neighborhood to be a shade
more appealing.

It helped that the younger sibling had dimpled cheeks and always had a flirty/naughty
smile playing on her lips, while elder sis Sandy was more the serious type. My opinion
was different though - I thought the serious maturity of Sandy was more beautiful than
the playfulness seen in Shalu.

Anyway, as time went by, I became busy with work and travel, while they joined college,
then took up jobs and Sandy even did a stint on TV - she hosted a show on a Malayalam
TV channel. On the rare occasions when I came across her show, I felt that while some
mediocre-looking people look great on photo/video, it is the opposite for some like Sandy,
who look great in person.

Anyway, I am not sure if she still does any TV work - I don't watch much TV anyway.
But I understand she works as a teacher and on all days when I have left home at 8AM,
I have seen her walking the 1km or so to the main road. In all these years, there never
arose a need/occasion for me to talk to either of the sisters, though as the Secretary of
the Flat Association, I did drop in at their home a few times to talk to their Dad - who
was the President.

And then a few years ago, I heard that her sister was getting married. In India, it is
unusual for the younger sister to get married before the elder and the talk was that
Sandy had 'Chowa Dosham' - a planetary fault - due to which marriage alliances did
not work out. I don't believe in horoscopes (we don't have one made anyway) and
so 'Chowa dosham' or any other dosham for that matter, is just a load of bull, to me.

Anyway, while her sister got married, became a parent and moved on only to visit
on vacation, Sandy continues to stay with her parents. On the rare occasions that I
come across her, I think how unfortunate it is that such a fine girl/woman, who is
good-looking, well-behaved, educated, and employed should remain a spinster just
because some star/planet is in some phase.

Already we see people giving horoscopes the pass and in many cases caste/religion
is no longer an issue too, when it comes to marriage. Hopefully the next generation
would really leave all these trivia behind and choose partners based on compatibility.

From the mouth of babes

After a nice lunch, my wife and son are in the mood for an afternoon siesta. A common
practice here, which my parents also follow. Though I don't have this habit, the incessant
rains make it feel like it would be good to curl up in bed. So, the three of us hit the bed
for a short nap.

But like always, it is a tough thing to get my son to take a nap. He sits up on the bed and
starts playing with his 'laptop'. It is actually a plastic cuboidal bag in which came his plastic
alphabet/number blocks. It has a string handle which he slings around his neck and acts
as if he is typing on the laptop. And the following conversation ensues between Mom & son.

Aman : Why does Dad have to go to Madras ?
Mom : Because he needs to work.

Aman : Why does Dad need to work ?
Mom : So that he can earn money.

Aman : Why does Dad need to earn money ?
Mom : So that he can buy you all sorts of toys. You want toys, don't you ?

Aman : No, I don't want any toys.
Mom : You don't ? Why ? I thought you liked toys.

Aman : No, I don't like any toys.

Silence ensues for a few minutes, while Aman gets back to his laptop and we try to sleep.

Aman : Mom, I want a new car. A blue one.
Mom : Ask your Dad. See, this is why he needs to work. So that he can buy cars for you.

Aman : But he can just buy it from Madras.
Mom : Yeah, but don't we need money to buy cars ?

Aman : Yes, I will make money.
Mom : (Wide-eyed now) How will you make money ?

Aman : I will do work.
Mom : What work will you do ?

Aman : I will do the same work that Dad does and make money.
Mom : You will work on the laptop like him and make money ?

Aman : Yes.

I am listening to the whole thing and wonder if kids of my generation were also like this.
The stuff that kids of today talk seem to be so much beyond their age. Maybe it is the
kind of exposure they have from birth. They grow up with mobile phones, internet, DVD
players, cars, air-travel etc etc, most of which in my childhood were just ideas in the minds
of their inventors. Well, we learn new things every day.

When you run fearing an army and run into...

Looks like the monsoons has set in over Tamilnadu. It had been raining on and off for the
past 2 weeks and then strengthened over the last week and by last Friday, the rain-gods
were in full form.

When it comes to rains, Chennai is kind of in a fix. We cannot do without the meagre quota
of annual rains, because the reservoirs feeding the city's water-lines would dry up, leading
to water scarcity. And we cannot also handle too much rains due to the way the soil here is
leading to water-stagnation, flooding etc. And ofcourse traffic becomes a nightmare.

Commuting to work & back becomes a pain due to the flooded roads and because those
that usually commute by bikes would bring out their cars during rains, leading to traffic
becoming even more dense. So, when my manager was OK with me working from home
this week, I was happy. But what awaited me at Kerala was even more rains. And this
is the typical Kerala rain, which pours by the bucketful. Only consolation is that I don't
need to drive to work.

Reminded me of a Malayalam saying "Pada pedichu pandala-thu poyaal, pandam-koluthi
pada". Translated to English, this would mean "I ran away to Pandalam fearing the army,
only to run into an army carrying burning-torches". Pandalam is a town in Kerala, some
20 kms from my place.

I hear from my friend in Chennai that all through the weekend it has been raining cats &
dogs there and the newspapers predict more rains. Just hope the city is able to handle it.

Sorry for helping myself to your net connection, Senthil. Thanks though.

Many years ago, dial-up internet was a cool thing. You dialed-in via the POTS (Plain Old Telephone System) twisted-pair line that terminated at your home and were greeted
with the modem static noise & then you got connected to the Web at a measly bitrate
of say max. 56kbps. And you were happy, because there was nothing else available.

Ofcourse, even in India where simple things take years to happen, broadband came in,
offered by the Govt. behemoth BSNL and other private operators and quickly the whole
world had jumped in to enjoy hi-speed internet.

Except ofcourse yours truly, who had various reasons to not go the broadband way :
i) I am anyway spending my non-sleeping hours at office where we have a leased line
with much better speed.
ii) I am anyway going to move to Kerala (yeah, long time dream) - so why bother ?
iii) etc etc

So, on the very rare occasions that I needed to check something on the net, I would
still go dial-up. Ofcourse after clicking on a link, I had enough time to put a pot of tea
on the cooking range and by the time I was back, the page would be just loading.

And then last month I decided enough was enough & summoned the courage to land up
at a BSNL customer service centre for a broadband connection. After about a week of
applying, some souls from BSNL landed up at my place & put a broadband connection
in place.

I assumed that all my worries of net connectivity were over. Ofcourse, that was not the
case. Over the last month, I saw that the modem takes its own sweet time to come up
and get connected. And as soon as I heave a sigh of relief and get online, the connection
is disrupted.

This becomes doubly irritating because of the additional effort and time involved in
connecting to my office network via VPN using a SoftToken key, which is a process in
itself. So everytime net connectivity is lost, the VPN connection also breaks and I need
to start all over again.

Yesterday, after reaching home around 10:30 PM, I realised that I forgot to send out
some details that my manager had asked for. So, I decide to get online and send off the
email. I switch on the modem and after a few minutes, all the relevant lights on the
front-panel are on, indicating that everything is fine.

Wireless connectivity indicates strength to be 80% and shows 'connected', which means
I am ready to surf. But No, I can't get on the internet. I try a few things - check settings,
try wired-connectivity, reset modem etc, but still no connectivity.

As I curse BSNL and am about to give up, I see another available wireless connection in
the list. It just says "Senthil", which I assume must be the name of one of my neighbours
in the adjoining flats and whose net connection has been configured with his name.

The signal strength is only 20%, but what surprises me is that my laptop has locked-on
to and connected to that connection. And guess what I am online. I VPN into my office
network, send out the email, check my mails, reply to some urgent ones and inspite of
the 20% strength, it was not slow by any means. Work done, I log off the connection.

If I knew that inspite of having my own broadband connection, I would need to rely
on someone else's net account, I would not have opted for a connection of my own.
So, Senthil, thanks for helping me out, albeit unknowingly. And sorry for adding a few
hundred KB to your data usage.