Sunday, January 23, 2011

1 is lonely. So would 2 be company or a crowd ? We will know in 8 months.

Happy New Year, folks.

The last time I was here was just before the annual 10-day X'mas holidays kicked in. And for the last few years that we have been having this year-end shutdown in place, it has been pure bliss. No worry about emails, no tasks on to-do list, no nothing. Just fun and enjoyment with family. Infact after shutting down my laptop on the evening of 23rd December, I did not touch it for the next 1 week.

Year 2010 was as always a mixed bag, with its share of losses and some gains. Losses were mainly about people - 2 of my cousins lost their husbands, both young guys in their 30s. One of them died in a freak accident at the oil-well where he was working in the Middle-East. The other cousin was indisposed for some years now with a mysterious illness that rendered him dependent on others to do even basic tasks. And to think that this was a guy who was working, an adoring husband and a devoted father. Both are losses that cannot be made up.

As far as gain goes, it was in the fag-end of 2010 that we knew that if all goes well, we would be welcoming a new member to the family in end-Aug or early-September.

Knowing only too well that most of the problems in our country can be traced to the exploding population, I never wanted more than 1 kid. Sheena on the contrary, wanted atleast 2, if not 3 kids. We debated over this, with each of us putting forth arguments supporting our respecive choice. While she did agree with my reasoning, her wish of having atleast 1 more kid stayed. And that was when she happened to put forward an argument for which I did not have a counter-argument.

Her point was that after parents, the next closest bond was between siblings. Yeah, Aman has 3 cousins now whom he is fond of and they too like him. But then how often does he meet them ? Once a month is more like it. As we get more entangled in the business of life, the meetings would become rarer. And when he grows up, he might feel the absence of a brother / sister even more. Sheena infact was thinking much further into the future, when she said, "Aman's kids would not have an uncle or aunt, if he is the only kid". You have to give it to women for their reasoning.

Anyway, this one point had me cornered. It was something I could relate to because I have 8 first-cousins on my Mom's side and we do meet once in a while and all that, but they are not as close as I am with my sisters. Again, while I have no first-cousins on my Dad's side (he was the only son), there are numerous second-cousins on Dad's side with whom I am chummy, but again it is not like real brothers/sisters. I had no option but to accept defeat.

Another major reason was Aman himself. He was always complaining that he had no one to play with, which was true given that there are no kids in our neighborhood. We told him that he has us to play with, but his reply was "I don't want big people, I want small people (kids) to play with".

And so we decided to go forward with having another baby. I had always wanted a baby-girl and was kinda disappointed when Aman was born. But over the last 3 years with Aman, found out that boys are fun too. I just hope it is a girl this time - that would complete the family. Also, given the immense energy that boys come with, it would be tough to handle two boys - especially if the second one happens to be like Aman.

Aman wants only a boy though. At his age, boys don't like girls. That will change as he grows up, I know. :-) Anyway, to avoid disappointments, we have told him that we have no idea whether it will be a boy or a girl and that he should accept whichever God decides to gift us. This has not changed his choice, but he has come around to the possibility of it being a girl too.

He is all ready to take full care of the baby - I will feed him, play with him, take him to school etc. And the funniest thing is he has already named the kid. The name he chose was Ragol. We have no idea where he got this wierd name from. We tried telling him that maybe he is confusing Rahul as Ragol, but he insists that it is Ragol only.

The only thing that he finds unacceptable is the long wait. To be frank, the 8 months to D-day seem like a long time to me too. But then waiting is part of the package. Aman would be 4 years old when the kid comes and old enough to be a responsible elder brother. I just hope all goes well.

EDIT on 25-May-2011 : It is just 3 months to D-day, with the due-date being around 23-24 August. Aman has now moved on to newer names for the baby - Appu being his current favourite. He has also come around to the fact that it could be a girl and the other day he was telling cousin Divya that it is upto God to decide whether the baby would be a boy or girl and that he is OK with either - a big sigh of relief from me and Sheena.