Monday, April 18, 2011

A noble gesture - wish many more of us could emulate this

A couple of days ago, I received this email from a colleague at work ;

Sub : Sweets @ my desk
Happy to share the arrival of a new member in my family. He is 4 months old Vijay,
who has joined our family to cherish our parenthood.

The "4 months" part had me confused. If not for that, I would have easily understood this as a new parent sharing the happiness of a birth in the family. For a moment I am thinking whether they have got themselves a pet. But I dismiss the idea since a pet has no connection with parenthood, though I have read of people thinking of their pet dogs and cats on the same lines (or even more) as their kids.

So, while it sounded too good to be true, it logically had to be an adoption. I say logical because I know the colleague (and his wife) for a long time and this young couple have been trying to expand their family for some years now. And it is too good to be true because we in India haven't yet opened up to adoption. I know a couple who love kids but even after knowing for sure that they can never have a kid of their own due to a medical condition, adoption is not an option they are considering. Even when couples finally make the decision, society in general and close relatives in particular do all they can to dissuade adoption.

While majority of couples face issue at the starting stage (conception), this couple had no issues with conception. Instead their problem was in successfully completing the full term. After many pregnancies getting terminated at various stages, leading to both physical and emotional stress for the lady, the doctors had suggested in 2009 that they put on hold plans for a child for atleast 2 more years.

I walk over to my colleague's desk and a quick chat reveals that while heeding the doctor's advice, they had also decided to adopt a kid and put in a request at the adoption agency. While most people prefer to adopt girls, they decided to go in for a boy and were overjoyed when they could bring a baby boy home in less than 2 years. I believe this is pretty quick - my understanding was that it takes years of battling lethargy and paperwork at the adoption agency before you got a kid.

I am curious about how his parents felt about the adoption and he agreed that it was indeed tough to convince them. Hmm, exactly as I thought. Anyway it is laudable that my friend and his wife persisted and managed to convince them to go along with their decision to adopt a kid.

In my opinion, adopting a kid would be one of the most noble things a person could do. One of the reasons why the Tamil movie "Kannathil muthamittal" by director Mani Ratnam is an alltime favourite. Me & Sheena came pretty close to going the adoption route when after her first miscarriage in 2002, things were not looking good on the kids front for years. Anyway, then Aman happened & adoption was forgotten.

I thought we could adopt a baby girl as our 2nd kid, but Sheena wasn't sure about convincing my/her parents. I think she felt motivated by this adoption done by my colleague & his wife because the other day she mentioned that if our 2nd kid also happens to be a boy, we would register for adopting a baby girl. Ofcourse it remains to be seen if we actually walk the talk.