There's a reason God entrusted child-rearing to women.

A news item in the paper couple days back reported a woman in Alappuzha (my home district in Kerala)
causing the death of her kid by spinning the infant in the washing machine. The reason she gave for doing
so was interesting - since the birth of the kid, she did not get to sleep properly !!!

While the report mentions her to be slightly mentally challenged, the reason she gave cannot be ignored as
trivial. Humans need sleep as much as they need food and lack of sleep can have disastrous consequences.
I still remember the drive back from Velankanni to Chennai few months ago, when I was so sleepy that I
could not stay awake at the wheel.  I am only a few hundred kms from Chennai, but sleep had so tightly
overpowered me that I could not stay awake. I would stop the car, wash my face with cold water, have a
cigarette/coffee, but as soon as I got behind the wheel, I would feel sleepy in the next few minutes. It took
innumerable such pit-stops before I reached Chennai and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

Now that was just because I had limited sleep for the past 2 days. Now imagine going without proper sleep
for a year. And add to it the routine of managing a household, taking care of an infant and making sure the
elder one is got readied for school every weekday at 7:45AM ? I can't even imagine myself doing all that,
without a proper night's sleep.

As Ishaan turned 1 year old on 22nd August, it marked a year of little or no sleep for Sheena. Unlike Aman,
who used to sleep like a baby (literally), Ishaan seems to revel in limited sleep. In the year past, we have
never seen him sleep for hours like kids his age would normally do. Apart from the fact that getting him to
sleep at night was an ordeal in itself, almost no night went by without him waking up crying atleast 5-6 times,
which means Sheena has to get up, feed him and get him back to sleep. And by the time she does manage to
catch a few winks, the 5AM alarm would go off as a signal for her to start the day so that she can get things
ready for Aman to catch his 7:35AM school-bus.

Last Saturday night was a sleepless one for both of us in the train to Chennai as Ishaan was crying all night.
For some strange reason, a night in an a/c train sets off this fever in him and this added to his crying. At
home, I would maybe wake up a couple times at most and give Sheena some moral support and then go to
sleep. But in the train, since the crying would be disturbing for others, I also stayed awake for most of the
night, helping her by taking Ishaan out of the a/c area and trying to put him to sleep.

Sunday night was no different though now we are at home in Chennai. The fever which had subsided during
the day, reared up at night and though I did manage a few hours of sleep, it was way below my usual quota,
leaving me tired during the day at work. All this for just 2 nights of lost sleep. Gave me a new perspective
into what Sheena must have been going through for the last 1 year and still not even chiding the kid.

I am sure I would have flipped my lid on day 2 itself. Which explains why God felt men could not be entrusted with child-rearing. :-)

Blessings of life

Over the years past, I have learnt that while money is indeed required to be able to live well, it's value is way low in the actual scheme of things. I have learnt that it helps more to have good friends, a caring family, peace of mind at home and more such things to which we cannot put a monetary value.

And today when he becomes 1 year old, what more should Ishaan need than a loving and caring brother who truly wishes him all the best on his 1st Birthday. Check out the video.

                                                Happy Birthday Ishaan !!!
And may God bless you always, part of which is evident in the loving brother you have. 

Thinking out of the veil !!!

This came in the last issue of "The Week" magazine and caught my interest for the sheer brilliance of the idea.

Apparently, Kemal Ataturk Pasha, who was the 1st President of Turkey, was against the idea of women wearing purdah. However, he was aware that banning the veil in a Muslim country was only going to fan anger/discontent/resistance and not help in any way.

So, he instead applied psychology and declared that purdah was optional for all Turkish women, but that it was compulsory for prostitutes.   Veils vanished off the streets almost immediately. :-)

What an idea, Kemal-ji !!!

Mea Culpa - a confession with a twist, by Aman

In the last year or a little more than that, Aman has been throwing tantrums for very small things, thus getting
on Sheena's nerves. More so because she is already overloaded with taking care of  Ishaan (who is currently
in a cling-to-Momma mode), getting Aman to school and other work at home. And usually these sessions
happen when she is getting him ready for school or when he is back from school.

Reasons could be as simple as "the tucked-in school shirt is not fully tucked-in as per his expectation, with
a wee bit peeping out" or "he wants to wear red pants with yellow t-shirt, which we think would make him
look like Salman Khan (yuck)" or "while the tomato-rice she packed for lunch that day was good, it had the
skin of tomato or its seeds in it, inspite of his making it clear the previous day that he hates it".

Though the reasons seem trivial, we see in it a possible hint of sibling rivalry or jealousy. While he loves
Ishaan, we reckon that sometimes he feels everyone is more bothered about Ishaan. And in the last month
or so, this is partly true to. Reason# 1 being that Ishaan has started taking baby steps to walk with support
from tables/chairs etc, which means he sometimes loses his balance and falls. So all of us are a little careful
about him. Reason# 2 is that for some strange reason he is now very clingy to Sheena and does not let her
leave his side for even a second when awake.

Anyway yesterday evening on return from school, the reason was tomato-skin in the rice and he flopped on
the sofa. Assuming he is tired after a hectic day at school, Sheena lets him be and goes out to the swing in
our front-yard and spends some time with Ishaan - basically laughing / playing with him. Not sure if the
mother-son bonding got to him or what, but he starts off on his tantrum spree. Finally, Sheena takes a small
twig and gives him 1 beating which calms him up. As a rule, we don't hit him as we believe the rod should
be the last resort.

Anyway later, when the 3 of them are sitting on the swing, Sheena decides to do a talk session with Aman.
Basically she tells him how with both of them being kids, she needs to ensure that they are doing things right
and which apart from her other chores keeps her busy and if he starts off his tantrums, then it becomes too
difficult for her.

Aman is all attention and finally says, "Amma, it is all my fault."

Sheena is estatic as it seems like he has understood his fault. After all correction starts with understanding
and accepting one's fault.

And he continues, "It's all my fault, because it was me who asked God for a kid brother."

Basically his implication is that if there were only 1 kid, there would not be so much load on Mom and since
it was his request that led to God giving us Ishaan (as he believes now), the whole fault is his.

Can't fault this logic, can you ? :-)

P.S.: Incidentally it is close to a year since I last posted here. Hope I am more regular henceforth.