Wednesday, November 22, 2006

No friend, no beer

My friend Dilip had dropped in from B'lore on work. And, as is the norm whenever he is in
town, I dropped in at his hotel room on my way back from work for a few drinks. Being the
extrovert, friendly guy that he is, there are others in town who look forward to his frequent business visits. This time it was a couple of girls who worked with him at his previous job.

Since their joining us at the hotel would not be very appropriate for conservative Chennai,
we decided to meet at a bar.

We ordered our usual vodka and I was expecting the girls to opt for coke (or atmost
a beer). However, they preferred to go along with us in the choice of drink.
Hmmm. Traditional/conservative Chennai sure has come a long way.

I had always wondered how women in Chennai source their liquor (retail). Though tagged

a conservative city in general, I am sure quite a few of the current generation drink. But
since I didn't know one who did, the answer had always eluded me.

Now was my chance to get my doubt cleared. In all of Tamilnadu, the retail liquor business

is done by the state-run TASMAC shops. The way these shops are, the kind of crowd that
comes there, etc make it almost impossible for a woman to get her liquor from there.

Ofcourse you could drink in the many bars available at hotels, but what if you were in the
mood for a beer at home or wanna party with a few of your girlfriends at home ?

I voiced my doubt to the ladies and their answer stumped me. They have a male friend
who
gets it for them. What if he is not available or gone out of town ?
"No beer", was the reply in unison.

I imagined a role-reversal and wondered about the situation if we men were stuck like this.
It's a Saturday evening and I need to have a few vodkas. But my friend is not around to go
get it for me. It sucks.

For those girls that are not in the know and who do not have a handy male friend to go get
their liquor, one good option is the premium version of TASMAC at the upscale Spencers
Mall. It's not your typical dirty TASMAC shop and you needn't worry about anyone staring.

My bit of public service for women who drink. :-)

Monday, November 20, 2006

Divya's trump card to keep the bully away.

I am not much of a phone guy. Infact, unless I am talking with friends calling from the US
on weekends (when they are drunk, they just want to talk to someone), I am usually short
& crisp. But one call that I look forward to is the one made to my lovely & adorable niece,
Divya. It is fun talking to her. All of 7 years old, yet such a lot of stuff to share with me.

The last time I called her, the conversation went something like this.

Divya : Uncle, I am going to give a speech in front of the whole school during morning assembly.
Me : Wow ! That's great. What is the subject ?

Divya : e-World.
Me : Hmmm. Great. Let me know if you want any pointers.
(Man, at that age, if someone had asked me about e-World, I would have stared blankly into

space. Heck, there was no e-World to speak of, back then.)

Divya : What time is it there now ?
(A favourite question of hers, since the time I called her from the US many years ago and she

was introduced to the concept of time difference.)
Me : I am at Madras, babe, and the time is same as yours. It differs only when I am in the US.

Divya : OK. I have another thing to tell you. Unnikuttan (her cousin & 1 year younger to her) is
always fighting with me . When we (her group of girls) are playing, he disturbs us.
Me : Oh, OK. Tell him that I will be in town next week and will beat him to pulp.

Divya : (Giggles in that cute way only girls can). OK, that would shut him up. He is very afraid of you.
Me : Just let me know when he is mischievous and I will do the needful to set the brat right.


Divya : (More girlie giggles). Don't forget to take him to task on your next visit, OK ?
Me : Sure, babe.

Unnikuttan is the typical boy that we all were at that age. He finds fun in pulling the ponytail
of his cousins, playing pranks on them, bullying them etc. Even though she is elder than him,
girls being girls, at times there would be only so much that she could do when dealing with a
brat like him.

And when everything else fails, she would invoke her trump card which I am assuming,
would be something on the lines of, "Behave yourself, brat. Else, I am going to tell my
uncle (yours truly) who will make mincemeat of you."

From what I hear, this threat is enough of a deterrent for Unni, who would try to buy

peace to ward off the threat from this uncle in Chennai.

Ofcourse I have no intention of hurting Unni. I just love Divya so much that I play along.
Keeping Unni in check is just a bonus.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

How sensible is it to use white skin to sell to the brown-skinned ?

The other day, I was showing an American colleague around Madras and he was staring
wide-eyed at almost everything, just like any tourist. Being a Sunday, traffic was almost

nil during the day and I could give him a good tour of Mount Road, the Marina beach,
Eliott's beach, etc.

Like any guy new to India, he had lots of comments and questions, most of which I was
able to answer satisfactorily. However, one question stumped me. Actually, it was one of
those things that we have come to take for granted over the years, without even giving a
second thought. That is, until the time, someone raises it & then you fumble for an answer.

My colleague was wondering how appropriate (& logical) it was to have white-skinned guys
(and gals) sell stuff to us. He had noticed that most of the hoardings had white people selling
stuff to us. Be it apparel or electronic items or undergarments or liquor, he noticed that the models were mostly caucasian & in some cases even black. He wanted to know the marketing logic behind the same and whether it helped increase sales, if the models were foreigners.

Well, I had never given it another thought till he brought this up. And could not think of a suitable answer. Even though I am not in marketing, I am intrigued by the whole business

of marketing. So much that it led me to pursue a programme in marketing, and which admittedly gave me a whole new insight of how marketing works. Still, I did not remember reading about this particular practice, and whether it yielded any dividends.

How much sense does it make to have a white guy, dressed in formals, sell us the idea of a
nice set of formal clothes ? Does it create any additional aspirational value in our minds, if

the model is white ? Will we drink more of a particular whisky because Ricky Ponting is advertising it, as compared to our buying behaviour if Dhoni was to model for it ? Are the chances of our women buying a particular lingerie brand more, if a white women were to
pose alluringly in the said stuff ?

Frankly, I would actually not give a hoot about whether the model is white or black or

brown. I do not buy stuff because it is modelled by someone I like - I buy it if it suits my requirements. Infact I would usually avoid stuff modelled by stars because it makes me
aware that the huge pay packet paid to him would be spread over the product cost. So,
I would be paying more for such products. I am a big fan of Jothika, but studiously avoid products endorsed by her.

But I am also aware of people who actually buy a particular brand because it is endorsed by

their favourite personality. And contrary to popular belief this is not a behaviour restricted
to illiterate, rural consumers. My friend, an MBA from a premier institution, bought a car
(Hyundai Santro) just because his favourite star Sharukh Khan was endorsing it. Going by

this, I guess there is a case for the success (atleast partial) of brands that have cine/sports personalities endorsing the products.

But, is their any logic in having personalities of a different race, endorse products meant for
consumption by another ? As a race, apart from the very visible difference in skin color, we
are quite different from the caucasians in build, behaviour, culture etc. If so, what's the logic
that marketers find in selecting white models while selling to us ? Beats me.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Not exactly his master's voice ...

The poodle has finally decided not to toe the master's line. After years of blindly following
the leader, the poodle has finally had a viewpoint different from his master.

The master has worked behind the scenes to get Saddam a death sentence for crimes
which
the US has been doing for years and has gotten away with. However, this is one
area
where Blair cannot toe the Bush line. Not because he does not want to or because
he
differs in opinion, but just because the European Union of which the U.K. is a part,
has
a strict view on capital punishment.

The E.U. has always been against capital punishment and Blair cannot be seen differing
from that view. Hence his difference with the master, however reluctantly.

When New Labour overthrew the Tories many years ago and Tony Blair took office as
Prime
Minister for the 1st time, I was among the many that applauded. I have no vested
interest in U.K.
politics, nor have I stayed there. A 4-hour transit at Heathrow airport
many years ago, does not count as a stay anyway.

My interest was because the country was getting a young leader who I expected would be
more efficient and proactive. Unlike the leaders that we are cursed with, who are reluctant
to give up power even when they are having one feet in the grave.

However, the Iraq invasion exposed Blair for what he actually was - a white colonialist,

working with another of the same ilk, who rushed into Iraq among other things, to avenge
the insult that his Dad had faced many years ago. Ofcourse, it helped that there was lots
of oil around & the opportunity to provide companies owned by friends, lucrative contracts,
in the name of rebuilding Iraq.

I am happy that Blair will be moving out of Downing Street pretty soon. Good riddance.

The Sena to the rescue. Surprisingly...

A news item couple of days ago had my interest. The Siv Sena through its mouthpiece,
Saamna, had come out in support of Saddam Hussein, and condemned the US-influenced
death sentence imposed on him by an Iraqi court.

Wow, that really made for interesting reading. A rabid anti-Muslim organisation coming up

in defence of a Muslim ??? I am sure this is a first for the Sena. I am no fan of communal / regional / casteist organisations and would like to have these formations removed from the
face of the Indian political scene. However, the viewpoint deserved looking into and some
of the points made in Saddam's defence did make sense.

Saddam was one of the few Muslim rulers to be on India's side in its tangle with Pakistan

over Kashmir. While other Muslim countries would blindly support Pakistan just because
they shared the same religion, Saddam chose to dwell on the merits of the case.

Saddam also was one of the few leaders that did not allow his country to be a base for

terrorists. Surprising, eh ? More so, because the US plank for invading Iraq was his
support for terrorists, apart from the non-existent WMDs.

And the item blamed Indian leaders for not coming up in support for Saddam. Forget

supporting another country/ruler, our leaders would not have the guts to stand up for
our own country, if it were under seige. And don't dismiss that as a crazy thought.
A bully is a bully, anything is fair game for him. Our nukes might be the perfect excuse
for the world's leading nuclear proliferator to invade us.

But then, the bully also knows whom to pick on. Observe the silence when it comes to

N.Korea, which is not without reason. The bully knows the extent to which the dictator
would go, if forced into a corner. And a nuclear flare-up is going to be costly for all parties concerned. Hope better sense prevails atleast there instead of the foolishness that led
them into Iraq.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Saddam Hussein sentenced to death ...

Finally the court trying Saddam has pronounced judgement and sentenced him to death.
The newspapers were agog from yesterday about a possible death sentence and they have
been proven right. Looks like this is the time of capital punishments - first Afzal, then the
lawyer in the Maattoo case and now Saddam Hussein.

I guess opinion is divided on whether Afzal should be put to death or not, with our own
Arundhati Roy using up quite a few pages of the latest Outlook mag for his cause. I am

not sure I really buy her theory though. Regarding the lawyer, general opinion is that
justice has been done, though delayed. The crime was pretty heinous and would look
like it deserves the punishment doled out.

Coming to Saddam Hussein, the crimes attributed to him, have been committed by many

a dictator, and in most cases with the active support of the US & other western countries,
that are working behind the scenes to have him crucified.


This is not to say that he is innocent. The guy has quite some blood on his hands and needs
to be punished. But then, do not Dubya and Blair deserve the same or more stringent punishment for killing so many innocent Iraqis (6.5 lakhs as per latest reports) ? And that
too without any real reason. They invaded a country just like that, bombed it to dust, killed innocent men/women/children and in short turned it into a mess. Agreed that Saddam was
no just ruler, but atleast the people had the basic necessities and there was no chaos like
what is seen today.

The 1st Gulf war was started due to Saddam invading Kuwait and which was a blatantly

wrong thing to do. However, if reports are to be believed, he had an informal go-ahead
from Bush Sr., who later went back on his commitment. Either ways, it was wrong to
invade another country and Iraq paid for it, along with Saddam. However, there was no justification for invading Iraq the 2nd time. Even if he did have WMDs, they would have
been sourced from the US only.

So it has been such a sorry joke - first arm dictators, then invade them after accusing them
of having WMDs which you only provided them in the first place.

I was in college when the 1st Gulf war happened and people in Kerala keenly followed the happenings as it had a large number of its people working in the Gulf countries, who would

be affected by war breaking out. Even as I conceded that Saddam was at fault, I admired
him for taking on the world's bully. He might have lost the war, but no one can accuse him
of not putting up a fight. The Yankees might have won finally, but the world got someone
who could stand up to a bully.

The 2nd time around, there wasn't much to fault Iraq/Saddam of and still the US and UK
invaded it. The Americans have seen a thousand odd of their soldiers returning home in
bodybags and many more maimed. The way these guys are bogged down in Iraq, this does
not seem to be the end of casualties. Sentencing Saddam to death is only going to add fuel
to the fire.


The US is already aware of the grave mistake it did by getting into Iraq and this is one misadventure they are not going to forget for a long time. But then, I am not betting on
that possibility either. They forgot Vietnam, didn't they ? As someone aptly put it, "The
only thing we learn from history is that we do not learn from history".

Friday, November 03, 2006

The Mallu blogging scene.

Even though I have been blogging for sometime now and also have been a regular at some
nice blogs like waiterrant, clublife, Crystal blur etc, I never knew that there were a whole
lot of Mallus blogging away, and in style.

I somehow did not associate Mallus with blogging. I realised how wrong I was when I

stumbled upon the well written and humorous blog of Silverine. Silverine is a Mallu girl working/based at Bangalore and describes herself thus, "Cancerian, happy go lucky girl
who likes to sock life in the face if it gets too serious".

On her blog are links to a whole array of Mallu blogs dealing with varied topics. Have not
had the time to go through them yet, but will try to sample them as and when possible.

Till then, all ye Mallus, blog on, you have nothing to loose but your inhibitions.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Kerala Piravi - Golden anniversary of the creation of Kerala state

It is 1st November again and a big day for all Keralites. OK, not as big as Onam maybe,
but nevertheless important. And this year it is extra special as it is the Golden Anniversary.

A Happy Birthday to GOD's Own Country.

Lots of emails from Mallu friends with photographs capturing the beauty of Kerala.
Actually, is it really possible to capture her beauty using a camera ? I have tried many
times and even though the photos came out pretty good, I always felt that it looked
much better in reality.


Of all the photos (of beaches, backwaters, kathakali artist, pookkalam, tea estates,
waterfalls etc) that came in, what really attracted me was the following caricature
and the accompanying lines (which I am told were written by Malayalam poet Vayalar).

Pardon my ignorance as inspite of being a Keralite, I have spent almost all my life outside
Kerala. Well, what's new about that, right ?


A rough translation for the benefit of non-Mallus would go as below :

Are there people who have lived in this place to their heart's content ?
Are there people who have lived here and loved to their heart's desire till their last breath ?

Please give me another life on this beautiful shore,

Please give me another life here...