An old friend had come to India on a 3-week vacation from the US,where he has been working for the past 9 years now. He usually makes it to India every alternate year for 2 - 3 weeks.
He flew direct from US to Kerala where his parents are based, but dropped in at Chennai for
2 days to visit old friends and relatives. Caught up with him yesterday evening for an hour at
his maternal aunt's home where he was put up for the 2 days he spent in Chennai.
A nice independent home away from the madding crowd in a peaceful locality, and with a
really good garden, some coconut trees and even a mango tree. His aunt and uncle being
the only occupants of the house. I am not good at determining people's age by just looking
at them, but I guess they would be in their mid-seventies.
A very nice couple, educated and very soft-spoken, they have only one daughter, who lives
with her family in Australia and comes down to Chennai only once in 2 years or more. Since
they had only one kid, they were determined to have her close to them and thus when time came to get her married off, they looked for grooms who were working in Chennai.
This worked fine for a few years, but then the guy got a good job in Australia and moved
there with his wife and kids. So much for the plans we mortals make and which we think
are foolproof. They did travel down to Australia some 5 times in the last 10 years to spend
some time with their daughter and grandkids. But advancing age & ailments prevented
them from making trips since 2005 which was when they did their last trip to Australia.
You can see the pain and loneliness in their eyes without them saying even a word about it.
In their old age when they would like to be with their kid and grandkids, they are having to spend days all alone, with only nostalgic memories for company. And this is actually not an isolated case, but a reality that many parents have come to face in India today.
In Kerala, you can see palatial homes with multiple bedrooms, but the only occupants would
be an old couple who spend years waiting for the few weeks when their children & grandkids would make that short trip home every few years from the US, Germany, Persian Gulf, UK
or wherever it is that they are based.
Infact, I don't need to look far for a real-life example, but can draw from personal experience.
Even though my Dad spent his full working life in India, it was always far away from Kerala
where my grandparents stayed. But he made it a point to be at Kerala every year for some
6 weeks during our school vacations and my grandparents would wait eagerly for our annual
visits to Kerala.
Even though it is 20 years since my grandpa passed away, I can still vividly remember how
he would break into tears and cry like a kid, first when we reach Kerala for our vacation &
then when it was time to say goodbye after our vacation.
Coming back to my friend, when he used to work at Chennai, he used to stay with this couple, and the main agenda on his 2-day Chennai visit was to spend some time with them as he understands their pain and loneliness. I did not want to take up the few hours that they would get with him and so excused myself after less than an hour there. And anyway, I would be
seeing him the next day when I would be dropping him off at the airport.
I dropped him at the airport today morning on my way to work and thus we got some 40
minutes in the car to catch up with each other's lives. He has another couple waiting at
Kerala for his time and attention - his parents - who are also living alone. They are atleast
a little better off, in the sense that they have 2 daughters who live in India.
As my friend said today, "It is depressing to come to India. Especially when it is time to
return back, leaving behind your old parents all alone. It takes atleast a couple of months
after returning to the US to get over this depression".
I am sure he is not alone in this, what with a sizeable percentage of Indians working abroad,
leaving behind a greying population that waits years for a few weeks with their kids and
grandkids.
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