The big dilemna - to shave or pluck or let be.

In today's TOI (actually yesterday's, since it is 12:30AM as I blog this), I came across
this interesting article titled "Fashion's victims", which is about women's eyebrows.
The article starts off like this :

The West's great fashion dilemna at the moment can be summed up thus : to shave
or not to shave. But this is not about male stubble or hairy female legs. It is about
women's eyebrows, and the question is, should they ever be completely removed?

OK, the article goes on to talk about famous women of ages ago who shaved off their
eyebrows because it was fashionable then & because men of that age liked it that way.
I am too lazy to type it all here - go check out the paper if you want to really read it -
it is on the bottom-left side of Page-12, just below the editorial columns.

I found the article interesting because I have known women who thought that having
well-kept eyebrows either makes them look more beautiful or it looks good or that it
makes them noticeable to men.

My first tryst with a woman's eyebrow-fixation was in 1995. I was working then in
a small organisation which was lucky to have a decent %age of good looking women.
Anita was one of them and while she fared average on facial looks/features, she had
a figure that women would kill for. And she knew that the guys in the office noticed it.

It started of as any other day, with me being at work around 9AM. I was the first to
reach work that day & since I had a key on me, I did not have to wait for anyone to
open the office for me.

I am going through the work for the day when the door opens and in saunters Anita.
Did I already mention that she had a killer figure and that she knew about it ? Well,
she did and she also knows that no other dress accentuates a woman's figure like a
saree. And guess what, she was wearing a saree that day also.

After wishing me a smiley Good Morning, she does the normal women routine of a
quick restroom visit (a quick make-up check?), she comes over and sits bang opposite
me. As I go over the day's mail, she feels kinda ignored and clears her throat.

Hey B, look over here.
Yes.

Look at me. // I am now looking at her face, feeling uncomfortable.
Yes.

What is different about me today ?
Huh ?

Tell me what is different about me ?
Hmm. Hmmm...

Can't you see anything different about me ?

I have no idea what is different about her face. Looks the same like yesterday. But I
suddenly remember the poster we had stuck on our hostel wall in college, "Hell hath
no fury like a woman scorned" and I know that time is limited and I need to answer
her before she goes ballistic.

I think hard and the only thing I can think of is that her bindi is different.

No. This is the bindi I always wear. Can't you be a little more creative ?

I am cornered and like a gnu in the African savannah staring into a lion's face, I am
considering my options. Not that I have many options.

Her face is polished clean, like always and I don't see anything there that wasn't there
the day before. I admit defeat.

She is both elated and depressed by my admitting defeat. And then goes on to break
the suspense.

I had my eyebrows trimmed. What a dumbo ? You could not even notice this ?

Ha! That was the first time I knew that women trimmed eyebrows. Which is not really
surprising given that my girlfriends never indulged in this fashion exercise. Thank God.

Anyway that was my first brow encounter.

Later on in life, many years later, I came across another friend who regularly spent a
fortune trimming or shaving eyebrows. I still did not notice the difference until I was
told about it. And even when told, I thought to myself, "What a waste of good money ?
The eyebrows looked good as-is, instead of being shaven to look so artificial".

But then, women think differently. They think having a shaven eyebrow makes them
prettier. I did not have the heart to tell her that she looked better as she was normally.
Infact a shaved eyebrow reminds me of the funny thin-pencilled moustaches sported
by some men in their 60s - I guess in their time, this was considered fashion & movie
stars also sported this.

I can't speak for all men, but given a choice, I would anyday opt for some genuinity &
character in a women rather than a shaven eyebrow.

The most dangerous driving hazard on Chennai roads.

I was talking with a friend the other day over crappy machine-coffee, and the topic veers
to the rapidly deteriorating roads in Chennai, the dare-devil bikers who seem to be riding
with only one aim - to come under the wheels of cars, poor lighting on roads etc.

While he agreed that these were indeed a pain in the rear, according to him none of these
were serious hazards and asks me if I know what is the biggest driving hazard on Chennai roads ?

I make a few guesses - the cows & buffaloes that roam/snooze on the roads, jay-walkers
who jump in front of speeding cars when you least expect them to, the speed-humps that
pop up overnight catching you by surprise, etc - but according to him, none of these qualify
as the biggest hazard.

I give up and ask him to enlighten me. Imagine my surprise when he says that the most dangerous hazard on Chennai roads is "low-cut jeans". Seeing my blank look, he clarifies,
"Have you ever driven behind a bike that has a PYT on the pillion wearing a dangerously
low-cut jeans coupled with a short top and tried concentrating on the road ?"

Well, once I did come across this, but that was when my car was stationary at a traffic
light and so I did not really need to concentrate on the road. He signs off by saying,
"Well let me know how you fare when you are driving. I don't know about you, but I
almost crashed into the median the other day."

Well, you learn something new everyday. :-)

The times, they are a changing. I am not complaining though.

Two related incidents that happened in the space of a week convinced me that I really
need to blog this. This is going to be a long one.

The first incident happened last Sunday around 1PM. I was at my friend's shop (which is
just opposite my apartment) to fetch some ice-cream for my son. I pay for the ice-cream
and am talking with my friend, when 2 girls in their late-teens walk in to get a pre-paid
mobile connection. While my friend's Dad started the shop as an STD/ISD/PCO booth
some 20 years ago, he diversified into ice-creams, mobile connections etc.

Out of normal curiousity, I look at the girls, but they are not familiar - maybe new to
the neighbourhood. While one of them is dressed in a salwar-kameez, the other one
is in a pair of tight jeans and an equally tight-fitting tops. As I start to look away, the
jean-clad girl looks at me. I meet her stare briefly and look away.

While my friend attends to them, I wait for them to leave so that we can continue the conversation from where we left it. Getting a prepaid connection now requires proper documentation including a filled-in form, photograph of the user, ID/address proof etc.
The jean 'n top girl has all of this ready and she hands it over. As my friend goes over
the documentation, she turns sideways and looks at me again.

I start wondering whether it is just a casual look or whether she knows me. I rack my
brains, but cannot place her face and so dismiss it as a casual stare. Satisfied with the documentation, my friend hands her a SIM card. She takes out cash from her handbag
and hands it over to him. As she waits for the change, she again turns to me sideways
and this time her stare lingers on me for more than a few seconds.

I am not sure what to make out of it. I mean, she must be just about half my age, though
she can't be blamed because I don't really look my age. But no credit to me for that - it is
mostly genetics & good luck. I am not sure if I should feel flattered that a girl in her teens
checks me out or feel bad that I also returned the stare of a kid. Anyway, the ice-creams
are melting in the hot Chennai weather & so I tell my friend that I will catch up with him
later and walk out of his shop.

As I exit the shop, I turn back only to find myself staring into her face - she had turned
around at the same time. I walk home thinking about the strange similarity this incident
had to another one that happened a week ago around 9:30PM when I was signing-off
from work.

Since it is just 3 floors to the basement car park, I usually avoid the elevator and hit the
stairs. Walking down the stairs in front of me are 3 girls, employees of the call-centre
located on the floor above my office. Like most call-centres, this one also works 24/7 in
shifts & they are walking down to the basement cafetaria. Like a typical girl-group, they
are chatting loudly, with the occasional we-have-no-idea-why-we-are-giggling girlie
giggle thrown in.

I would like to walk past them because I know that it is going to take them an eternity
to reach the basement. The staircase is wide enough, but since they are walking abreast,
I don't have space to squeeze through. I decide to take it slow & follow them down.

As they cross the first landing & step onto the next set of stairs, I am still on the previous
set of stairs & just approaching the landing. At this point, we can see each other if we look
to our side. They are still talking among themselves & giggling, but in between that, I see
the 3 of them turn sideways and look up at me. I dismiss this as just a normal behaviour -
a curiousity to know who is nearby.

But just few seconds after they had looked at me & turned away, one of the girls looks back
again at me. This isn't normal, unless we know each other, which we don't. I still don't think
of this as a big deal and continue walking. She turns away on seeing me return the gaze.

As they traverse the next landing & we come again in a similar position, I see her looking
up again at me. I have never been shy of looking at women & so meet her stare. She looks
away, but in a few seconds, she looks back again, only to look away again on my returning
her stare.

It seems to me sort of like how guys size-up girls, if you know what I mean. If a girl walks
past a group of guys, you can see most of the guys look at her and size her up - mentally
doing a "How does she rate on a scale of 1 to 10" ? In India, most girls in such situations,
would walk past demurely without returning the stare. But if a girl did return the stare,
most of the guys would hurriedly look away.

It is sort of a reverse scenario here, with me being sized up by the girl. Ofcourse I don't
have a problem at all if a girl ogles me. Though it would really worry me if a guy ogles me.
We reach the basement and they turn into the cafe, while I get my car and drive off.

As I drive home, I think about how things have changed over the years. When younger,
I remember ogling girls & almost 99% of them (except maybe some tom-boyish creature)
would make sure not to make eye-contact. I also remember ogling girls many years ago
while riding my bike, with the helmet ensuring that while I can see others, they cannot
make out whom I am looking at. You could ride by looking at any girl passing by & the
girls would just walk with either their head bowed or looking straight ahead to avoid
eye-contact.

Or you could be driving a car and ogling a Pretty Young Thing on the road, but as far as
they were concerned, you might have as well not existed, with their gaze straight ahead
or down.

But off late, I remember so many instances where I am riding my bike and I see girls
coming in the opposite direction (walking/biking/driving) strain to look through the
helmet. And when you are in the car, they just stare/ogle you as you pass by.

As these 2 incidents show, the Indian girl/woman of today not only has no qualms about
returning a male stare, but she is actually initiating the checking-out process. I have no complaints though about this metamorphosis because in these stressed times, it surely
feels good to know that you are still checkout-worthy even in your late-thirties. :-)

If God were a car-afficiando, would he ...

I am driving to work and as is my norm, I am checking out other cars on the road. I do
not miss reading the stickering on the rear wind-screen, which is a common practice in Tamilnadu. Normally this would mean having the names of all the kids in the family on
the windscreen. And in rare cases, the list extends to cousins, neighbour's kids etc.

Anyway, as I am nearing my office, I have a pink Estilo in front of me. A pink car is in
itself something most of us can't imagine. But think of the double whammy when the
car is the, ummm not-so-good-looking Estilo. I try to visualise how the whole purchase
process would have happened for this car.

So, this guy goes to a Suzuki showroom and says, "Hey, I want to buy an Estilo". I am
sure the sales guy would have been both surprised and overjoyed. Surprised because
he can't imagine someone wanting to buy a car that looks like a baby-Innova (and that
is not a compliment, given how the Innova's frontal view looks). Overjoyed because
finally he can get rid of the Estilo that has been taking upspace in the yard for years.

Imagine how he would have felt when the next statement from the customer is "And
can I have it in pink, please ?". But then, I am sure he would have been told during
sales-training that the customer is king and to give the customer what he wants. So,
he would order a Pink Estilo, which I am sure would have all the guys in the ordering
chain upto the company's factory in Gurgaon smirking and going, "Hey look at this guy.
He has ordered an Estilo and guess what, he wants it in pink".

Anyway, why should I bother ? It is his money and he can buy any car in any color.
I am more interested in the stickering on the rear windscreen, which says "Everly
Precia" on the top and "God's Precious Gift" at the bottom. I know of no words in the
English language called "Everly" or "Precia" - so make a mental note to google it up
as soon as I reach work.

Coming to "God's Precious Gift", I wonder what God would do if he/she were an auto
enthusiast ? Would he/she really roll-out a pink Estilo from his assembly-line to gift
his/her devotee ?

Being a mere mortal, I have no idea about the thought process of the Almighty (be it
Jesus or Allah or Mangadu Amman), but if he/she had even a bit of auto-enthusiasm
in them, I am sure they would not let a pink Estilo roll out of their heavenly-factory.

P.S. : I googled "Everly Precia", but without much success I should say.

Off the beaten path.

While nothing is confirmed yet, travel clouds can be seen forming in the horizon.
Only the other day, I was rueing the fact that due to recessionary pressures,
business travel has become virtually non-existent. And today there is discussion
at work, on upcoming travel.

And the best thing is that this time it is travel to places that are offbeat. Eastern Europe
has always looked mysterious due to the combination of wars, communism, antiquity, architecture, mystique etc etc.

Doesn't names like Serbia & Slovenia sound exotic as compared to say, the USA or UK ?
The names itself are so funky, and ofcourse what adds to the magic is that most of us are
not even aware of these small countries. Ofcourse finding them on the map is not an easy
task. Need to google a bit more for information on these countries.

To say that I am excited would be a gross understatement.

A date with Ambalapuzha Unni-kannan. Well, almost.

Sunday, 30-Aug-2009:
The 10-days preceding Onam are usually the most hectic in the year for my wife and
her colleagues, since Supplyco conducts Onam-bazaars at each town where veggies &
groceries are sold at less-than-market rates and usually people throng these bazaars.

Since all through the week, she has to travel in buses/trains, which can be pretty tiring
& time-consuming, I take it upon myself to chauffeur her during the weekends that I
am at Kerala. It helps thatI love to drive. Our son also joins us most of the times and
after dropping her at her place of work, we roam around looking for interesting places
in the neighbourhood. When she is done, she gives me a call and we go pick her up.

So, last Sunday (working day for them due to Onam), she had to go to a place called Ambalapuzha, which ison the way to Alappuzha - some 30kms from our home. Since
Divya was at home then, she also joined us. We drop my wife at her workplace and
decide to check-out the Ambalapuzha Krishna temple. The pal-paayasam (does that
translate to milk porridge?) at this temple is renowned for its taste and we hope we
get lucky enough to get some.

This temple is quite famous and also special for Hindus. It also figures in songs like
one that I like a lot "Ambalapuzhe unni-kannanodu endhu paribhavam melle odhi
vannuvo ?".

What follows is a photo-blog - I am feeling lazy to type. :-)
1) The main arch through which you enter the temple precincts.


2) Another arch.


3) The main hallway-like entrance with shops on both sides, selling trinkets


4) Stuff on sale.


5) We walk around to the rear of the temple, where the ambala-kulam (temple-pond) is.


6) A banyan tree - a common fixture in temples here.

7) When it is Krishnan, can the cattle be far away. A calf grazing inside the temple.

8) A view of the sanctum-sanctorum.


9) The traditional Mallu saree could be seen worn by many women during Onam time.

But it was nice to see a western woman wear it.


10) A view from the rear of the temple, with the pond and all.


11) The rear entrance - looks like not in use and in need for maintenance.


12) Divya shielding herself from the sun.

13) And finally we come to the temple-elephant. Aman did not want to leave from here.

The elephant was an adult & quite big compared to the one at the temple near my home.


14) This elephant was lucky to have a solid structure as home for itself. Most temple

elephants are tethered in the open.

15) Finally we reach the pal-paayasam counter. But we learn that you can't just walk-in

and hope to have the paayasam. You have to book a day in advance and collect it the

next day.


All the people standing there have paid previous day itself and are waiting for payasam

to be disbursed. We were told that if there was payasam left after all these people got

what they had paid for, then we could get some. But no one knew how long we would

have to wait and thus we left for home. Some other day, we will book a day in advance

and come collect it.

No more visits to the toy shop for you.

"I will think twice before bringing you to the toy shop again", went my wife after our
visit yesterday evening to the toy shop at Gemini & which left my wallet lighter by 4K.

Ofcourse most of the stuff we picked up was for the party we are planning for Aman's
2nd birthday on 3rd October. But those were individually small & pretty inexpensive
stuff like candles, baloons, whistles, masks etc.

The major part of the 4K went for a remote control car (Rs.1750) and an assemblable
play-house with plastic sheet exteriors supported on an aluminium structure (Rs.700).
Both these purchases were impulsive, which was the reason behind my wife's statement.

Kids love toy shops and when they see the racks and racks of cool stuff on display, it is
only natural for them to want them all. It's like how we adults long for super-bikes or
cars or homes or gadgets. So, if you are taking your kid to the toy-shop, you better be
planned to handle his demands.

But guess what, Aman behaved really well. He was sure excited when we entered the
shop and let out a loud "Aaaaaye". He did pick up and try all the cars on display, but
when I asked him if he wanted it, he would say No and put them back. Only to pick up
another car and repeat the process.

But as my wife learnt, in a toy shop even some adults can turn into kids. Yes, her retort
was directed at me. I was (as always) looking at the R/C cars when I saw this guy trying
out an over-sized Swift look-alike car and I wanted it then. But the problem was that it
was the only piece available. Luckily for me, the guy did not buy it and I swooped up the
car, before he could have second thoughts.

And as if that was not enough, I chanced upon the assemble-able play-house and I just
had to buy it. Main motivation for buying it was being reminded of the small houses me
and my sisters would build in our backyard in Kerala when we were there for vacations.
We would use thin bamboo reeds for pillars & the roof skeleton and for the roof, it would
be woven coconut-tree leaves. Not very strong, but good enough to keep the rains away.

But today's kids are used to everything ready-made and straight from the shop. And I
thought it would be useful for Aman & his friends/cousins when they play in the yard.
So, I somehow convinced my wife about its usefulness and picked it up.

But she drew a line when I again started lingering near the r/c car section which had
re-boxed cars selling at discounted rates. She sent my son to drag me away from the
toys and Aman was literally pulling me to the billing counter, with the sales-staff
looking on amusedly. :-)

If she could drive the car, I am sure she would just take Aman with her to the toyshop
on her future visits, leaving me at home. Too much trouble handling a toy-crazy adult.

Happy Onam / Onam Aashamsagal

A very Happy Onam to all Malayalees out there. In an hour or so, most of you would
be burping after a nice heavy Onam sadya (meal) which is entirely vegetarian and
which would be topped off with a proper Mallu dessert like ada-prathaman or
something like that.

Having spent most of my life outside Kerala, I do not have many memories of Onam.
The only Onam sadya that I really remember is what my friend's Mom used to so
lovingly serve during the 4 years of my college life at Chennai.

In Kerala, the biggest event/festival celebrated is Onam and I guess Christmas would
follow a close second. No Holi or Diwali or Vinayaga Chaturthi etc for us Mallus. The
Onam fever catches up pretty early in Kerala and was quite visible during the last
weekend I was there. Some snaps I took last week.

1) Some kids out playing puli-kali / kaduva-kali (tiger-play). Basically people dress
up as tigers using either masks or body-paint and go around the neighborhood playing
tiger and hunter.

Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puli_Kali for more details.

2) A person dressed as King Mahabali goes around the neighborhood.

The story behind Onam is about the good king Mahabali who ruled Kerala long, long

ago. He was a just & good ruler, though he was an Asura (ie Demon - opposite of Deva

/ God) and people lived peacefully in his regime.

As in most Hindu mythological stories, the Gods become jealous of him because of the

love and adoration that his people had for him. So they send Vishnu as a dwarf (the

Vamana avatar of Vishnu) to the king and the Vamanan asks for a boon.

Being the benevolent king that he is, Mahabali asks him what he wishes to have. The

Vamanan replies that he needs land that can be covered in 3 steps that he takes.

Mahabali, like any normal person, not knowing that it is actually God Vishnu, grants

the wish, thinking that after all how much land can a dwarf cover in 3 steps.

But the moment the wish is granted, Vishnu attains his Godly self and with his first

step, he covers all of land and covers the heavens with his second step. Since there

is no other place to take the final step, Mahabali asks him to step on his head.

Vishnu steps on him and pushes him down to patala. But before he is gone, Mahabali

asks for a final wish - to be able to visit his people once a year. And it is believed that

it is on Onam that the king comes and visits his people.

Though I am sure he would be saddened to see the current state of the land he once

ruled. Corrupt and self-serving politicians, bad infrastructure, power-cuts in the land

of so many rivers, goondaism, etc etc. Anyway, a Happy Onam again.