Tamil culture ... ??? What was that again ?

Over the past many weeks there has been such a big issue over some sane comments made
by cine actress Khusboo, that the lay man has most probably no idea of what it was that she actually said, which seems to have offended the so-called guardians of Tamil culture.

Much water has since flowed down the Cooum (or the Buckingham Canal as it is also known)
and there have been serious debates on this issue in all possible media. For those who came
in late or do not know, what she actually mentioned to a news magazine was something like :

>> Pre-marital sex per se is not a bad thing, but women should remember to take care to
avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs.

>> No educated man should expect his wife to be a virgin.

Analysing these 2 comments, let us see where Tamil culture got hit.

Pre-marital sex (or for that matter extra-marital sex) has been here for ages and it is a phenomenon not only in the cities of Tamilnadu, but also in the villages. Guys and girls
making out in the fields or in the pump-set room or even in their houses when no one is
around, is common in the villages of Tamilnadu like anywhere else in India.

Also, we hear about this women running of with someone else's husband or this man
leaving his wife for another woman. So, this is no Khushboo's invention or contribution
to Tamil culture. She has only been correct in asking the young generation to avoid STDs
and pregnancies.

The 2nd comment is related to the first one. If people are going to have pre-marital sex,
then ofcourse they are going to lose their virginity. So, it will not be surprising if some guys
get married to women who have had some experience of their own. Well, what is the big
deal in that ?

Because when pre-marital sex happens, it is not just the girls that lose their virginity.
The guys also lose their virginity and the women whom they marry later are ending up
with non-virgin men.

And anyway, what is this culture that people are talking about ? We are from a country
that gave the Kamasutra to the world. Our temples (even those in Tamilnadu) have
depictions of all kinds of sexual activities (hetero, homo, whatever). How does sex become
a bad word in our culture. Or is it that Tamilians have not heard of pre-marital sex or
never had any Tamilian who did it ? Give me a break.

Having spent more than half my life in Madras, I have a pretty good understanding of the
way things are here. I speak Tamil as fluently as a Tamilian (picked up the language in a
matter of months), can read Tamil much better than the average Tamilian (self learnt),
have most of my friends as Tamilians and know for sure that Tamil film music is the best
in India.

But then you have to list out the other side too. Tamilians, as a rule, like to get on to the
rooftops and shout about how great and ancient a language Tamil is. Since I am proficient
in Hindi and Malayalam also, I can accept the "ancient" part, though Tamil is useless
compared to Hindi or Malayalam as far as flexibility is concerned.

Reason being that to ensure that it remained pure, they did not go ahead with the times
and modified it. English is so acceptable all over the world because it is open to new words
from other languages. Agreed that they come up with a Tamil word equivalent for every
thing eg. kanipori for computer, but then when did you last hear someone refer to the PC
as kanipori.

You know what, there was this guy who many decades ago went on a fast-until-death to
make Tamil the national language. What brains in action there ?

Then they complain about Tamil not being used anywhere. But these same guys when they meet others who know Tamil, would still use English or even Hindi. Compare this with Mallus who would break into Malayalam the moment they know that the other guy is Mallu.

Another problem with the average Tamilian is the need to force the language on others.
They seem to have forgotten their own struggle against what they felt was the imposition
of Hindi on them. As long as you are on home turf, that is fine. But the moment you are in another state, it is better not to flaunt your love for your language.

What is the need for having a statue of Tiruvalluvar in B'lore ? Especially considering the language related violence that happened between Tamilians and Kannadigas. I agree that
he was a great Tamil poet and I like his short 2-line poems. But, then there are other ways
to help people discover his writings than by installing statues.

Start using your language yourselves guys, instead of worrying about it becoming dead.