There's something about X'mas. And Diwali. And Holi.

The 1st week of December is the time to bring out the X'mas tree, set up the crib and last but not the least, put up the X'mas star. Till Aman came along, we would only have the star and never bothered about a tree or crib. But for the past 4 years I have been spending time on setting up the tree and also a crib, since kids usually like this part.

As me and Aman started working on the tree and crib, I see the same activity happening in the home opposite ours. Nothing odd about it, other than the fact that they are Hindus. In Kerala, it is pretty common to see the star hanging in Hindu homes, but not many bother about a tree. In this case, again I believe it could be due to the presence of a kid in the home. And possibly in part due to the enthusiasm of the kid's father who married into this family.

X'mas with its stars / cakes / carols / wine / trees / Santa Claus etc has in it something that attracts most people and in general heightens the mood of the festive season for everyone. And it does not really matter whether you believe in the story or not. Same with Diwali where the sweets / crackers / new-clothes ensure that even non-Hindus get into the mood of the festival. Same goes for Holi too, where the fun and frolic with vibrant colors is something that is attracting.

Having grown up in North-India, Diwali and Holi were among the festivals that we enjoyed and celebrated the most. The fact that these were not X'ian festivals was irrelevant. Kerala does not really have Diwali, but I do make it a point to get some sparklers and small crackers during Diwali so that Aman / Ishaan have an idea about this festival. Holi is something I would like to celebrate with the kids, especially because Aman expressed an interest in celebrating this. But as far as Kerala is concerned, this festival does not even exist. Next time, need to pick up some colors from Chennai. 

Quickest way to picking up a new language ?

On weekdays, Aman has to wake up atleast by 6AM so as to be able to catch the school-bus that arrives at our gate around 7:35AM.   Like me, he also loves sleep, especially early in the morning and when I see how tough it is for him to get up in the morning, I would wish his school started a little later in the day. To make up for the early rising on weekdays, we usually let him sleep a little late on weekends / holidays.

So, last Sunday, he is in bed even at 8AM and Sheena comes over to wake him (and me) so that we can get to church in time for the Sunday mass. The hot tea she brings along lures me to wake up, but Aman is still reluctant to get up. When Sheena insists he get up, he replies in chaste/fluent Hindi, "Mujhe aur thoda sone do, Ma", which would translate to "Please let me sleep a little more, Mom".

And when she reminds him (in Malayalam) that if he wakes up, he can go play in the mound of river-sand that we have in the yard for some construction work, he replies again in fluent Hindi, "Woh to mein bhool hi gaya" (Oh, I completely forgot about that) and jumps out of bed.

He has not started learning Hindi at school. And while me and my parents are fluent in the language, we never use it at home. So, when he started speaking fluent Hindi of late, it initially came as a surprise to us. And the strange thing is that there is no trace of accent in his Hindi, though he normally speaks Malayalam at home and thus I would expect his Hindi to have a Mallu-influence.

We traced the source of his learning to some kiddie serials he is glued in on TV. These are Japanese serials dubbed in Hindi and me/Sheena mostly find it useless content-wise. The characters have names like Kitretsu, Butta Gorilla, Kurasoke etc and this airs on HungamaTV channel I believe. We would see Aman glued to the TV, occasionally laughing at the jokes and would wonder what he understood, since he knew no Hindi. But looks like he not only understands the content, but in the process has picked up a new language too.

I have always believed that the best way to learn a language was to speak it. That was how I picked up Tamil, when I was thrown into a group of Tamil-speaking guys at Engineering college. I never imagined that one could pick up a language by watching TV content in that language. Funny thing is that he also watches quite some kiddie serials in English, but does not speak English that well. Go figure !!!

WYSIWYG - not really

Last Thursday was a classic case of What You See Is What You Get (WYSIWYG) being proven wrong.

I had left for work early around 8AM. The cyclone Nilam had passed by Chennai the previous night, but thankfully had spared Chennai any major destruction. While some trees got uprooted all around the city, thanks to the cops and Chennai Corporation officials, the roads have been cleared and the drive was smooth.

As I enter Haddows Road, a bike overtakes my car and perched behind the guy driving the bike is a young woman in saree. Very petite, prim with saree draped properly - in short, the perfect Indian woman image for most guys. As I get onto Nungambakkam High Road, the couple are still in front of me. Since he is riding like a typical Chennai biker (weaving in and out of lanes), I lose them briefly, only to see them at the next signal.

As we approach the traffic light at Landmark, I think I saw a whiff of smoke come out from between them. My first thought is that the guy is smoking while riding and more importantly when he has a woman seated behind. But he is wearing a helmet, a full-face helmet at that with vizor, so would be tough to smoke through that. And then I see our fair lady bring the ciggie to her mouth, take a deep drag and puff out smoke like a seasoned smoker.

She takes a few more drags and flicks the butt away. I am caught by surprise, to say the least. It is not that I have not seen women smoking. Have seen lots of them smoking in EU / US - infact in EU, there used to be more women smoking in the office smoking-zone than men. Heck, even in conservative Chennai, this is not a rare sight. Since our office building also houses a call-centre, it is a pretty common sight to see the women employees of the call-centre come down to the basement for a cig-break with the guys.

But it always is kinda odd, if not disconcerting, to see a woman draped in a saree smoke. 

25 years of Nayagan

It was by sheer luck today that I chanced upon last Sunday's (21-Oct) supplement (Magazine) of  The Hindu.  The cover page had an article written by Kamal Haasan on the interesting incidents around the making of the iconic Tamil movie "Nayakan". Apparently it was exactly on 21st October 25 years ago that Nayagan was released.

Wow, already 25 years. Seems like yesterday. In 1987, I was doing my 2nd year Pre-degree at Kerala and over the past one year since we moved to Kerala (after spending time in Western and Eastern India), was getting exposed to Malayalam cinema, which was at its best during that period. Since Dad was working at Chennai then, we used to visit Madras often and knew rudimentary Tamil, but were not really fluent.

While Tamil cinema had its masters like K.Balachander, Bharatiraja, Balu Mahendra etc who offered brilliant movies, the average Tamil movie of the time was run of the mill stuff, loud and crude. So Nayagan came in as a breath of really fresh air, in the way it was directed, the music and the performance by all the actors involved.

One of the scenes that still stays in memory is of a waif-like and cute Saranya in the brothel, asking Kamal to not leave till morning, lest the madam send in another customer, which will not let her study for her exams. That was the 1st time I knew of an actor called Saranya and I still remain a fan of the lady's facial beauty. And I am sure the very act of a man marrying a prostitute, which till then would have been unimaginable for most men, would have become acceptable for many, after this movie.

A must-read article if you like cinema or Kamal or Nayagan or all three. You should be able to find the article online in The Hindu's archives. And if you have not seen Nayagan yet, there could be no better time than in it's Silver Jubilee year to rent a DVD and watch the classic. If you did not know, Nayagan figures in the Time magazine's All-Time 100 greatest movies. The only other Indian movies to figure in the list being Guru Dutt's Pyaasa and Satyajit Ray's "The Apu Trilogy".

P.S.: Until today when I was "researching" Mani Ratnam for this article, I did not know that his 2nd movie was in Malayalam - a film called Unaru (Wake up). Neither did I know that he started his film career in Kannada with the movie "Pallavi Anu Pallavi". 

There's a reason God entrusted child-rearing to women.

A news item in the paper couple days back reported a woman in Alappuzha (my home district in Kerala)
causing the death of her kid by spinning the infant in the washing machine. The reason she gave for doing
so was interesting - since the birth of the kid, she did not get to sleep properly !!!

While the report mentions her to be slightly mentally challenged, the reason she gave cannot be ignored as
trivial. Humans need sleep as much as they need food and lack of sleep can have disastrous consequences.
I still remember the drive back from Velankanni to Chennai few months ago, when I was so sleepy that I
could not stay awake at the wheel.  I am only a few hundred kms from Chennai, but sleep had so tightly
overpowered me that I could not stay awake. I would stop the car, wash my face with cold water, have a
cigarette/coffee, but as soon as I got behind the wheel, I would feel sleepy in the next few minutes. It took
innumerable such pit-stops before I reached Chennai and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

Now that was just because I had limited sleep for the past 2 days. Now imagine going without proper sleep
for a year. And add to it the routine of managing a household, taking care of an infant and making sure the
elder one is got readied for school every weekday at 7:45AM ? I can't even imagine myself doing all that,
without a proper night's sleep.

As Ishaan turned 1 year old on 22nd August, it marked a year of little or no sleep for Sheena. Unlike Aman,
who used to sleep like a baby (literally), Ishaan seems to revel in limited sleep. In the year past, we have
never seen him sleep for hours like kids his age would normally do. Apart from the fact that getting him to
sleep at night was an ordeal in itself, almost no night went by without him waking up crying atleast 5-6 times,
which means Sheena has to get up, feed him and get him back to sleep. And by the time she does manage to
catch a few winks, the 5AM alarm would go off as a signal for her to start the day so that she can get things
ready for Aman to catch his 7:35AM school-bus.

Last Saturday night was a sleepless one for both of us in the train to Chennai as Ishaan was crying all night.
For some strange reason, a night in an a/c train sets off this fever in him and this added to his crying. At
home, I would maybe wake up a couple times at most and give Sheena some moral support and then go to
sleep. But in the train, since the crying would be disturbing for others, I also stayed awake for most of the
night, helping her by taking Ishaan out of the a/c area and trying to put him to sleep.

Sunday night was no different though now we are at home in Chennai. The fever which had subsided during
the day, reared up at night and though I did manage a few hours of sleep, it was way below my usual quota,
leaving me tired during the day at work. All this for just 2 nights of lost sleep. Gave me a new perspective
into what Sheena must have been going through for the last 1 year and still not even chiding the kid.

I am sure I would have flipped my lid on day 2 itself. Which explains why God felt men could not be entrusted with child-rearing. :-)

Blessings of life

Over the years past, I have learnt that while money is indeed required to be able to live well, it's value is way low in the actual scheme of things. I have learnt that it helps more to have good friends, a caring family, peace of mind at home and more such things to which we cannot put a monetary value.

And today when he becomes 1 year old, what more should Ishaan need than a loving and caring brother who truly wishes him all the best on his 1st Birthday. Check out the video.

                                                Happy Birthday Ishaan !!!
And may God bless you always, part of which is evident in the loving brother you have. 

Thinking out of the veil !!!

This came in the last issue of "The Week" magazine and caught my interest for the sheer brilliance of the idea.

Apparently, Kemal Ataturk Pasha, who was the 1st President of Turkey, was against the idea of women wearing purdah. However, he was aware that banning the veil in a Muslim country was only going to fan anger/discontent/resistance and not help in any way.

So, he instead applied psychology and declared that purdah was optional for all Turkish women, but that it was compulsory for prostitutes.   Veils vanished off the streets almost immediately. :-)

What an idea, Kemal-ji !!!

Mea Culpa - a confession with a twist, by Aman

In the last year or a little more than that, Aman has been throwing tantrums for very small things, thus getting
on Sheena's nerves. More so because she is already overloaded with taking care of  Ishaan (who is currently
in a cling-to-Momma mode), getting Aman to school and other work at home. And usually these sessions
happen when she is getting him ready for school or when he is back from school.

Reasons could be as simple as "the tucked-in school shirt is not fully tucked-in as per his expectation, with
a wee bit peeping out" or "he wants to wear red pants with yellow t-shirt, which we think would make him
look like Salman Khan (yuck)" or "while the tomato-rice she packed for lunch that day was good, it had the
skin of tomato or its seeds in it, inspite of his making it clear the previous day that he hates it".

Though the reasons seem trivial, we see in it a possible hint of sibling rivalry or jealousy. While he loves
Ishaan, we reckon that sometimes he feels everyone is more bothered about Ishaan. And in the last month
or so, this is partly true to. Reason# 1 being that Ishaan has started taking baby steps to walk with support
from tables/chairs etc, which means he sometimes loses his balance and falls. So all of us are a little careful
about him. Reason# 2 is that for some strange reason he is now very clingy to Sheena and does not let her
leave his side for even a second when awake.

Anyway yesterday evening on return from school, the reason was tomato-skin in the rice and he flopped on
the sofa. Assuming he is tired after a hectic day at school, Sheena lets him be and goes out to the swing in
our front-yard and spends some time with Ishaan - basically laughing / playing with him. Not sure if the
mother-son bonding got to him or what, but he starts off on his tantrum spree. Finally, Sheena takes a small
twig and gives him 1 beating which calms him up. As a rule, we don't hit him as we believe the rod should
be the last resort.

Anyway later, when the 3 of them are sitting on the swing, Sheena decides to do a talk session with Aman.
Basically she tells him how with both of them being kids, she needs to ensure that they are doing things right
and which apart from her other chores keeps her busy and if he starts off his tantrums, then it becomes too
difficult for her.

Aman is all attention and finally says, "Amma, it is all my fault."

Sheena is estatic as it seems like he has understood his fault. After all correction starts with understanding
and accepting one's fault.

And he continues, "It's all my fault, because it was me who asked God for a kid brother."

Basically his implication is that if there were only 1 kid, there would not be so much load on Mom and since
it was his request that led to God giving us Ishaan (as he believes now), the whole fault is his.

Can't fault this logic, can you ? :-)

P.S.: Incidentally it is close to a year since I last posted here. Hope I am more regular henceforth.